Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Teyona Wins Cycle 12 of Americas Next Top Model

God someone gag me. Like last season I once again sat through a one hour season finale of Americas Next Top Model, only to see that my favorite pick was sent packing.

Before breaking it down on how aggravated I have become with Americas Next Top Model, let me break this pieces up in a recap for those of you whom my of missed it.

So there are 3 girls left in the house, Aminat, Allison, and Teyona. The season finale starts up with the girls being rushed off for a commercial and photo shoot for CoverGirl.

The girls all go in for hair and makeup, and Aminat is up for her commercial shoot first. She does actually really well with remembering her lines, speaking naturally and looking fantastic! I was shocked but Jay went on to remind viewers of how she does not really work her face, how it seems stiff.

For me it seemed natural though and I failed to miss the whole stiff face Jay spoke of. But hey, he's the professional right? I guess he can spot a stiff face! At any rate, she did really well.

After he commercial we watch as she is rushed in for a quick CoverGirl photo shoot. You don't really get to see much of what goes down on the shoot, but Aminat seems to be doing alright.

Next we have Allison who looks a bit pudgy due to her hair being pushed out of her face and tied into some old fashioned weave up look. Frankly I hated it, and thought it would cost her the competition. Although she looked really awkward she pulled off a semi decent commercial.

After the commercial Allison is rushed into some back room where her photo shoot takes place. Once again, you don't really get to see how well she is doing in there, you sort of get like a peek glimpse through a back door or something.

Next up is Teyona who totally messes up the entire commercial. Now in older seasons of Americas Next Top Model, if a competitor screwed up the final commercial it would send her packing...all the way back home. Do not pass go, do not collect $200 (In this case a $100,000 contract!).

Seeing that TTeyona did so piss poorly on the commercial, I automatically had her written off in my mind. No way would the judges let a bumbling crying mess through to the final cat walk!

Oh but they did, and they did it nicely too. They took her whole spiel on how she was nervous, and get this, 'felt sorry for her'.

Wow, I can recall Tyra telling so many past models to suck it up. Teyona though gets a free pass. By this point I'm frowning, because I no longer even need to watch. I know the judges are gunning for Teyona to hold the crown of Americas Next Top Model, before they even gave it to her.

Allison however is called up fist to continue on in the competition. The bottom 2 are Teyona and Aminat. Freakishly Teyona takes the cake over Aminat, who the judges said had a weaker photo and seemed to have injected Novocaine into her face. How lovely!

So our final two are Allison and Teyona. I sort of knew Allison would not win because throughout the competition she had the weakest walk, and with the one of the final challenges the girls must work it down a runway.

Before jumping ahead into the runway though the girls must go in to do a final cover photo for CoverGirl. The winner of course will be featured as a front cover on Seventeen magazine.

Us viewers were only given a quick sneak peek at the girls doing the shoot, so it was anyones guess on who did better than who.

Shortly after this shoot the girls are gathered in a back room where they meet quickly with Tyra who gives them some encouragement before the final runway.

McKey who is last seasons winner is also in the runway. She sloppily clogs along the runway floor, Teyona did a better job than McKey did, but hey McKey already won last season, so it is okay to get a little slumped and lazy looking right?

Allison shocked me with her walk. She came out looking like a model, had a newly improved walk

The girl look smoking hot and fierce.

Plus during the second part of the runway walk she even had a little fun with it during the Samba dancing part of with Miss J.

When watched Teyona come out during part 2 of the runway show I thought Allison surely had it in the bag. Teyona looked like a stiff scary looking robot with straight arms that seemed to be pegged into the sockets with tightly bolted screws.

Ah but Tyra was very impressed with Teyona during the very last runway walk... or I should say floor shake?

They had a bunch of the models; Allison and Teyona included, slither along a slippery muddy floor. It was supposed to represent some type of art, but frankly I could not for the life of me figure out what it had to do with being a model, or even being in fashion?

At any rate, like I said, Teyona impresses Tyra, and why? Oh because her giant weave came flying off of her head, and Teyona flipped it around in the air. Tyra said it gave her chills!

Um yeah, it gave me chills too because I was wondering when she was going to bite the head off of a chicken an start chanting some voodoo spell. To me it looked a mess, and it almost seemed like a 'look at me, look at me, I'm in a trance, hey look at me'. Fuh-reaky!!!

I did not think she would win at that point though, so I was not even really focusing on her. I was TRYING to see ho Allison was doing, but the camera at the moment seemed to be all focused on Teyona. Somewhere in the mix was Allison who got very little camera time during the final

Next the girls are cleaned up and brought to their final panel. Both girls look smoking hot, and the judges give them their final reviews.

First the runway. Everyone is impressed with Allison, and how much she had improved since day 1. Plus everyone seems to favor Allison's photos over Teyonas. At this point I figured Allison had it in the bag. No way in heck was robot girl and weave flipper going to take the win.

But alas my friends, Allison does not win. Teyona is crowned Americas Next Top Model. Now I won't say I'm not happy for her, I truly am. I do however think the judges made a mistake. I failed to see this potential they saw.

The thing that bothered me most was because the judges said that Teyona wants it more, so they gave it to her!? Bah! I must say, this season has probably been the only cycle I really did not like at all. Week after week they sent home some of the top competitors. Foe for instance could have had this in the bag...yet they ailed to see it, they were so focused on thinking she belonged on TV more than she did in modeling.

They sent home Celia last week because for some reason all of a sudden she was 'too old'. Weird! She was not too old in the beginning of the competition, did she age 10 years suddenly?

At any rate folks, the winner is Teyona.

I just hope Tim Burton hires this unique creature known as Allison, for some sort of dark Alice in Wonderland flick...she totally has the look down and an unforgettable face!

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