Thursday, July 31, 2014

Tivo: Setup for Idiots and Tivo Series 2 DT Features

T ivo, Tivo...where to begin? I loved you one day, and hated you the next, then I loved you again, then I hated you...
I bought the Tivo Series 2 DT model (dual tuner) at the official Tivo website, thinking that spending more would mean better service. Boy was I wrong. (I'll get into that later).
My Tivo came neatly packed in a standard ups box, and inside of that box was the official Tivo box, and inside of that box.. was the Tivo box. Yeah the one you plug in.
Anyways, I figured life would be simple; I mean they make it look so simple online and on TV. Just plug it in, and you're ready to experience TV like never before...or some cheap marketing slogan like that.
Anyways, I plugged mine in, and...and...a dud. The thing fizzed out in less that 24 hours, and after spending 3 hours on the phone with a service technician I finally got the approval, that my box was a lemon. The guy had me doing numerous tests that consisted of plugging in, unplugging, re-plugging, plug plug plug... I was going nuts, and the guy annoyed me. He just couldn't take my issue and believe it. The damn thing is broken okay! I know! It does not work!
So instead of being a great reputable company they tell me they can not replace my box until they receive the broken one first. To me that was shady as hell. I had already waited a week for it to come in the mail, now I have to wait a week till they get the broken one, and now another week for the new one. YAY ME!
After arguing for a good hour wanting an explanation on why I have to wait I still did not get my way. It's the Tivo way or the highway. And good luck canceling. I was going to do that and say screw it. But they get yah. If you cancel you have to pay them a $150 early cancellation fee. Lovely company right folks?
So 2 weeks later I finally get the dang box. By now I'm so annoyed with the company I barely even wanted to hook this one up. Anyways when I did I noticed that the box called for 2 input output cables and Tivo only includes one. So if you find yourself having issues hooking up keep in mind you need 2 of these cables and not just one. Tivo the cheap dirt bags they are think it's cute to have people running back and fourth to Radio shack just to hook up to their services.
This is exactly what I ended up doing. You see if you hook your Tivo up to your wireless home network you can schedule recording on their site. Pretty cool, but good luck with that. You are better of hooking up using a telephone line. However if you are unlucky like me, you will find that you have no choice but to hook up a wireless network. And I'm here to help because TIVO, has a bunch of fools who give you the circle run around.
You know what the circle run around is... let me explain. The circle run around is when no company is willing to take the blame. So when I had difficulty setting up the TIVO, I call them, and they tell me to call my Internet provider. The Internet provider tells me to call TIVO, but then TIVO says 'oh call the routers helpline'. Seeing how no one could help me, and TIVO just sent me in a circle of wasted time, I had to figure things out on my own using trial and error.
SO... Here is the idiots guide on what you have to do if you want to set up TIVO to a wireless network.
1. Buy TIVO's $60 wireless adapter. Plug it into the back of your TIVO's USB hub. Then place the adapter somewhere high.
2. Buy a router. LINKSYS was easy to hook up, and I am a wireless network moron, and it took time but I figured it out .
3. Plug an Ethernet cable into the number 1 on the back of the router, and have this cables other end go into the modem. Then plug an another Ethernet cable into the slot that says 'Internet' on the router. Then take the other end and plug it into the back of the computer.
4. Go to www.linksys.com and download easylink. (You need this to install the router- would of been nice if the manual said that. I had to call to figure this need step out) Follow the easy steps that easylink asks you for, and remember your encryption key.
5. Then use the LINKSYS set up disc that came with the router. This is to recognize and setup the router.
6. Then go back to the TIVO and set up your wireless home network under manage and setting tab.
Now if you are clueless you may see other network names magically pop up on your screen. Ignore these. They are signals from other routers in the neighborhood, and you cannot access them. (Man I was confused!)
7. Plug in your network name. -You were prompted to choose a name when you use the setup CD. So choose that name on the TIVO list of networks. Or plug it in manually. Then you simply type in your encryption key using the Hexadecimal. Remember that. Alphanumeric will not work.
Next you should get a screen on the TV that will display how strong your signal is. YOU ARE FINALLY DONE! You can now connect to TIVO. Phew!
Now TIVO couldn't just help me out with some easy information on how to set this thing up. I mean their company makes something capable of going wireless, yet they don't know how to help a customer do it.
NOPE! Instead TIVO will recommend you spend another $300 to have the geek squad come over and hook it up for you. NICE! Thanks for the tip blah... but I will play with it until I electrocute myself.
So after all is said and done with many trials and errors, the TIVO series 2 will cost you $220, the router another $40, the wireless adapter for TIVO $60, and 2 Ethernet cables that do not come with TIVO for another $35.
Too bad TIVO does not let you know about all of that added garbage you need just to hook up. That's some BS!
Next TIVO will need about an hour to download information and update the viewers guide. (Viewers guide is a list of tv shows).
Now that TIVO is all set up, you can begin setting up show recordings. Now with the series 2 DT you can record 2 shows at the same time. But not 3. Don't worry though, because if yo schedule 3 shows all at the same times, TIVO will warn you and ask you what you want to do. You can then change which shows it will record.
There is also a season pass. For instance, if you love 'THE SIMPLE LIFE' or 'UFC' you can set up a season pass to ensure that you will not miss any episodes while you are out. You can set the TIVO to record reruns and first runs, or just first runs.
Once you have a list of shows you like saved to be recorded, once they are recorded you can pause, rewind and fast forward them. You can save them, or delete them as you please.
Or you can burn them to DVD using TIVO DESKTOP which you can download at the TIVO site.
PAUSE LIVE TV:
This feature is just okay, and it is really not as cool as it sounds. Yep, you can pause live TV. But you can not fast forward live TV. You can rewind it sure but not fast forward it, unless you have it paused for some time, then you may fast forward, but only up to the part that is airing. It's only handy when you get a phone call or need to go to the bathroom. The pause feature will only stay paused though for a half hour. So be aware.
THUMBS UP THUMBS DOWN:
This is where TIVO gets it's TIVO suggestions. If you like a show, or a movie you just watched hit the green thumbs up. If you hated it. ed thumbs down. TIVO supposedly stores this information, and will record things it thinks you may like. But this feature is flawed. Read on...
TIVO SUGGESTIONS:
This seems to be the most annoying feature with TIVO. Now i I wanted to record a show I would of programmed TIVO to do so. However if nothing is recording TIVO will record something it thinks you like. However most of the time, even when I give a show a thumbs down, TIVO will still record it. It seems to think I like Ned's Declassified and SCRUBS. 2 shows I have never even cared about.
WISH LIST:
Here in the system settings you will find wish list. You can add in your favorite actor or actress or the name of a movie you are waiting to see. Whenever the name comes up on the guide TIVO will record it. So say you are in love with VIN DIESEL... plug in his name, and TIVO will record anything involving him. Even news or talk shows he may be on. This is probably a favorite feature of mine... but it is flawed. I plugged in Lindsay Lohan as an actress on my wish list, knowing she would be on an E! True Hollywood that night. TIVO did not record it, and nothing else was set to record at that time, so there is no excuse as to why it did not record.
ISSUES:
Aside from going wireless being a major costly headache TIVO has another issue. CLARITY! They are aware of it too, because in TIVO's manage settings, there is an adjustment to soften the picture. However if you enable this setting, clarity is even worse. So leave it off.
My usually TV picture was crystal clear, but once TIVO came around things were fuzzy, and just ugly looking. I called TIVO... and I was told to tighten the cables. I did so, and got nothing. My TV is not as clear as it used to be, but there is honestly nothing I can think of to improve it. I sure as hell am not going to buy an HDTV to accommodate TIVO. I expect TIVO to solve the problem, and not me once again. This is something TIVO really needs to work on, and it has nothing to do with loose cables. The TIVO manager looks crystal clear, yet the TV shows look like garbage.
You're sacrifice, quality for quantity. (TV shows).
REASONS TO AVOID TIVO:
1. Other new shows don't stand a chance. If you are constantly fast forwarding through commercials how are you supposed to know when new shows that may interest you are coming out?
2. Setup will take approximately 3 days if you don't know what you are doing.
3. The price of TIVO increases when you find out you have to buy a whole slew of other devices to get it to work. Also if you hook up through the phone, the calls are not free. Costing more money.
4. Clarity is awful.
5. Technical support is ridiculous. First you get a robotic answering system that takes you through a bunch of yes no step questions before you get a live agent. HERE IS A TIP: When the robotic answering machine asks what your issue is keep saying AGENT. It makes the call go faster, and you get in touch with an agent much faster.
6. You can't fast forward live TV no matter how much the commercials say you can. You can pause live TV, but only fast forward up to where the show is left off live.
OVERALL:
TIVO is a major headache to hook up, but I'm digging my service and what I am able to do with it. However once my year subscription runs out, I most likely will get the DVR recorder from my cablevision provider.
RECOMMENDATION:
If you just bought one, it's too late to save you now. But for everyone else, just go buy a dvr recorder from your TV provider. TIVO is not worth the headache.

Can You Handle a Bull Terrier?

This past month my boyfriend and I decided to take a big plunge and buy a Bull Terrier. It was a breed he was always fond of, and since I already have my Yorkie, I figured, why not? It can't be that bad right? Wrong! Bull terriers require tons of training, patience, love, and obedience.
Bull Terriers have gotten a bad reputation for themselves, and to be honest it's not the Bully's fault, it's the owners!
Now before buying one on a whim lets consider these important factors:
1. Can you afford the Bully? Most 'healthy' Bull Terriers will cost around $2,000.
2. Do you have time for your Bully? If you work a full time job, and are not able to give full attention to your Bull Terrier expect the dog to grow up with social issues, which when it comes down to it, means the dog will grow up to be shy, and afraid, and most likely will bite at anything that scares him or her. Thats right, even people.
3. Can you afford the Bull Terrier even after the cost of the dog? Bully's are the most greedy dog I have ever come across. It is greedy by nature, our Bully consumes at least $150 worth of food and training treats in just a month. Do you have that extra income for your Bully? If your dog gets sick, can you afford the $1,000 vet bill? or are you going to take the easy street out and have the dog put down. If these numbers scare you, don't even think about getting any dog for that matter.
Bully's have a tendency to eat everything they see. I will sometimes find mine chewing on pieces of metal as if they are snacks, tin cans, plastic, crayons...you name it. If it is on the floor, this type of breed is going to pick it up and try to find a way to swallow it down. It's like the trash compactor breed.
As funny as that may sound, think about the vet bill we will look forward to if we are not careful. Not only that the Bully could choke on something and die. So if you are really considering a Bull Terrier, and you have already made it to this step, answering yes to all of the above questions, make sure you always keep an eye on your dog.
4. Can you handle the Bull Terrier? Bull Terriers grow from 30-60lbs depending on whether or not you have a standard Bully or a mini Bully. Regardless of it's size and weight, this dog is a powerful dog. All of that weight is solid muscle. Walking this muscle machine can even prove to be a difficult task.
Not only that, they are extremely stubborn dogs by nature, and training them requires tons of patience.
Bully's like to roam, and you want to make sure you have a fence or at least are able to supervise the dog at ALL times when outdoors.
5. Bully's also have a reputation for hating other animals. This I have found to be true, but only 'other peoples animals'; so long as your Bull Terrier was raised with other animals within the house, they will get along just fine. However...if your Bully ever gets out of the yard, or if another animal wanders in...things could get ugly.
Our Bully is always a happy go lucky dog, and he loves our other dogs, but the moment he went in for his first vet check I watched as our happy sweet baby went from good dog, to "I want to eat your Pomeranian lady" type attitude. So just be careful, and do be aware that even though your Bully adores your dogs and cats, his mentality may not be so kind towards other peoples animals.
Now that all of that important information is all said and done, there is more...much, much more.
For one, if you have decided you can take on the job of raising a Bully, your next step is finding a good breeder. Now the Bull terrier is a strong dog. They were designed to herd Bull originally.
You want to be very careful when you buy your Bull Terrier. You see if the dogs parents were made to be fighting dogs, an evil streak could have been passed on to your dog, thus making him much more aggressive. You want to make sure you buy your Bull Terrier from a loving well known Bull Terrier breeder, a place you know where the Bully has been taken care of, and you want to know information about the parents. You do not want to purchase a Bully where it's parents were used as fighters or attack dogs.
If a breeder is in a rush to sell you a Bully, walk away. They do not care for the dogs, and are only in with this breed to make a quick buck. A good breeder will inform you of everything I have already spoken of and more. They may even sound like they are talking you 'out' of getting the dog. They are not, they just want to make sure you are the right type of person to take care of this stubborn breed.
TRAINING A BULLY:
Now that you have your little bundle of joy, your first step is training. This should be done as soon as you get the puppy. Like I said, they are stubborn, and you want to start teaching them right from wrong from the get go.
We use a special clicker that you can buy at Petco or any pet store. Because the Bull Terrier is so fond of food, it is actually very easy to train this type of breed based on treat rewards system. When our Bully does something good, we give him a treat. But before we give him the treat we click the clicker. He will run up, and sit right down and wait for the treat.
It seriously only took about a week for him to get this trick down. He hears the click, he knows he is getting food. But what does he have to do to get the food. SIT! The Bull Terrier is actually extremely smart and is a fast learner so long as you have the time to teach.
Now that he learned how to sit for a treat, his next level of training included sitting and giving the paw for the treat. He picked this trick up in about 2 weeks. Stubborn yes, but the ability to learn is phenomenal.
With a treat reward system used while training the sky is the limit. His tricks will all be based on how much time and patience you have for him. Thankfully this breed loves to eat, so learning comes fast.
However...this breed likes to eat... and eating too much means...obesity. That's right, the Bull Terrier is very prone to gaining weight quickly if you don;t monitor his intake. They are lazy by nature, and love to eat by nature, and too much of this type of nature could be bad for your dog. If you are using a treat system while training your Bull Terrier make sure they are diet treats. This type of dog will not care what the treat is, it's going to eat it. So make sure its a low fat or no fat snack.
SOME MORE INFORMATION ON THE BULL TERRIER:
Now I do not care how many people say they have owned a Bull Terrier for years, and they are such sweet dogs, and they would not harm a fly. Don't buy it. EVERY DOG has a wild streak, and if the situation arise the dog will attack to kill. Bully because they are so much stronger and a more powerful dog, would be more successful at making a kill than say a Yorkie. Therefore the bad reputation. Either way... ANY dog will attack and kill if needed.
Bull Terriers have taken on this reputation as mean killing attack dogs only because they look scary. This is completely untrue unless you raise an attack dog, and what a shame that would be. If your dog ever bites someone, its getting put down. That shame and blame should not be put on the dog, ANY dog. The finger should solely be pointed at its handler.
If your dog is bad, scold it, but do not beat it! You can beat a dog so much, till one day the dog beats back. Beating a dog will only guarantee an angry aggressive dog. A dog that will most likely bite at anything that moves too quickly. Even it's own owner.
MORE TIPS:
If you mix a bully in a home with smaller dogs, never ever leave the home with the bully out with the smaller dog. Dogs get excited when their masters come home, and this is the worst time for a fatal attack. One dog wants to get to the door faster in excitement, the other bites from excitement, and before you know it your walking into the middle of a blood bath. The little dog won't stand a chance. So even though your dog is friendly to your other smaller animals, don't ever leave them out alone together. That goes for any larger breed.
Do not feed your Bully with other dogs. This is also another time when a huge fight could occur. Bully's are greedy. They do not like sharing. Give them their own separate bowl, or feed them in another room away from other dogs.
Bull Terriers love people, and even when full grown they will have no problem jumping into your lap and sleeping there for hours. Our Bully does not seem to realize that he is far too big for lap naps. However, the Bully may love you to pieces, but you may want to keep an eye out on him around strangers. They love children also, but again... keep him away when other peoples children are over. Bully's are territorial. They tend to love there own, and nothing outside of their home. Honestly though this depends on the dog, and how it's raised.
Our Bully loves children, but he is far too strong to play with smaller children, as this type of dog can get rough, but it can also take a good rough play from an older child. I wouldn't get a Bull Terrier if I had a toddler in the home. Older children are an okay. Anything younger than 5 avoid this type of dog.
Bull Terriers also have really bad gas. Our Bully can fart just as loud as a grown man after eating Taco Bell. We have out Bully on gas busters a pill that is supposed to subside the gas. It does nothing. The farts are awful.
Bull Terriers love to swim. Just take a look at how big their paws are at only 8 weeks old. Those paws are designed for swimming. This dog breed is actually in swimming contests in other countries.
This breed makes for an excellent guard/attack dog even if it is not raised to attack. If it sees it's owner in trouble it will go through any length to save them. This breed will give its own life to save yours. So before people out there label this dog a bad evil killing machine, think again. This type of dog is a loyal companion for life, and would gladly give it's life for yours without thought.
Having a Bull Terrier is like adopting a child. They have constant needs, and need constant supervision. You will love them and hate them, but overall if you ca handle this massive beautiful breed, your in for a lifetime of fun with your Bull Terrier.

What I Hate About You

For me HATE is not a strong word, and I'm clueless as to why so many feel it is, because I hate a lot, a lot.. lot lot, lot..... I'm not forgiving, and I don't forget.
So please no preaching about how I shouldn't be so negative (because there is PLENTY to be negative about- and since everyone else is SO POSITIVE -or so they say, I figured I should throw in some balance) Blah.. boggity.,, blah... .... Growllllll...Hooowwwlll....
Ol'righty then, here goes:
I Hate:
1. When people have such foul breath, yet insist on moving closer to you as you move away while they ramble about what they had for breakfast. (Wait I know, a log of poo right?!)
2. When someone cuts me off and nearly hits me, as they give ME the finger. (Wait who cut whom off here? I'd like to cut something off of yours buddy!)
3. The sl*t that ran a red light and crashed into my friends car and killed her (5mo. old) unborn baby. (Yeah 'people' why don't you think about others before you pump your foot on the gas pedal trying to dodge through while it's still yellow, once it turns red it's a little too late to slow down don't you think. Think of others- and not just your selfish self!
Yellow means SLOW down, not SPEED up. I hope that bi*ch rots in hell for the pain she's caused. And I hope dodging the red light for that cup off coffee at Sevs was worth it.
Dog! Go bark at the moon. I won't ever forgive you, and neither will my friend. Your 'apology' means nothing. It can't bring back what you've so carelessly taken.
4. I also hate it when people mistake me for an employee at local stores I happen to be shopping in. Just because I am wearing nice professional business attire does NOT mean you can tap me on the shoulder and ask me get you down that bird feeder you can't reach, or what isle you can find diapers down. Do you see a name tag on my boob? No! Pi$$ off.
Then I just LOVE when people ask me 'Where is the bathroom' so, I shrug, and they're so damn retarded they even ask me, 'well don't you work here' (Gee Einstein, do you honestly think I work here, and not know where the heck the bathrooms are! Here's your sign!)
5. I truly hate when I'm out shopping or running a household errand and a client who knows me by my work decides that since they can annoy me at my job place, that it MUST be okay to annoy me while I'm out running errands as well, on my damn day off!
(I have 2 days off in my busy work week! 2! That is 48 hours! 16 of which are spent sleeping. Another 3 of those hours are spent perhaps watching TV or diddly daddling on the computer. Another 2 hours showering, about 10 hours are so easily wasted trying to run around doing things I couldn't get done throughout the week. About 4 of those 48 hours spent cooking and eating. Another 5 hours is wasted away catering to those who decide to stop by the house unannounced. So basically I have about 10 hours of actual free time. Do these free loaders really think I would even want to waste so much as a minute of my free time on them!
*Look people, if you want to have a conversation with someone like me, while I'm OFF, I'm going to have to start charging you by the minute. I honestly don't care that you nearly ran out of gas while taking your dog to the vet, or that you have a strange sore growing inside of your mouth -And NO I DON'T WANT TO TAKE A LOOK! MMM-kay. Leave me be. Good day! Now let me get back to finishing up my 'chores'!
6. I hate when I'm driving behind someone and suddenly out of nowhere they hault to an almost complete stop at each road they pass. Not because there is a stop sign... but because they are looking for a certain street. They're lost. So instead of pulling over, they continue driving 10mph down the road while everyone else is stuck behind them. Nearly ramming into them every time they decide to stop. Sweet people.
(Seriously folks, if you're lost, and find yourself driving erratic, pull the hell over and let people pass you, and then continue being retarded when no one else is being affected by your complete and utter retartedness)
7. I hate when I see people who are walking their dog, and all of a sudden pull on the leash dragging the dog when the dog stops walking to take a dunk. (How the heck would you like to get dragged out of the pooper while your in the middle of it hanging out of your butt!?)
8. When I worked in fast food, I hated when complaining customers would come back in saying that we forgot their fries. Yet when I looked at the empty bag they were holding, I could clearly see the mob of grease at the bottom of the bag, where the fries once laid. (Come on dirt bag, just because we work in fast food, does NOT mean we have below average IQ's. And really only a bottom feeder would pull off such a pathetic stunt. SCRUB. Get a job- here's am application.)
9. I hate when I see half naked girls walking around in the dead of winter. These are the ones who get pneumonia and pass it around to those of us who actually 'bundle up' (Believe me ladies, you're only attracting potential rapists and perverts,- keep on, keeping on)
10. I hate when people solicit. They come into my office daily trying to get me to donate to some sort of unknown charity. Come on, yes I feel bad, and yes I wish I had the money to donate to your cause, whatever it may be- but just because I wear a suit, does not mean I have money dripping out of my pockets. It's hard enough this day and age to even fill my tank with gas to get to work everyday. I have bills to worry about, and most people these days, even with good paying jobs can barely afford themselves, let alone to feed their OWN kids. With huge mortgages, car payment, utilities, food, and for some they work just to afford daycare. I'm sorry, but seriously, if I can't afford to donate, please stop pushing it.
11. I'm also getting sick and tired of seeing kids no older than 5 riding around the streets on bicycles with absolutely no supervision. (Come on people, pick up the newspapers, there are children going missing everyday. A 4 year old riding alone on a bike outside is a prime target for kidnappers, and not to mention an extremely easy target. -It's almost like advertising, 'here is my kid, come and git' em')
12. Another thing I am getting sick and tired of is listening to housewives complain about how hard and depressing their life is. (Yes I guess relying on someone else to support you and the family is a hard and sad task. Oh, I feel so bad for you, you have to cook dinner, and clean! Awe and the kids were bad today. Poor thing! You have it so hard! Please! Be grateful you are fortunate enough to be able to stay home and raise your kids on your own than to have some babysitter or daycare center do it for you. And maybe take into consideration that your husband is out working his tail off while you get to reap the benefits. Yet so many of my stay at home friends complain that there hubby's don't satisfy them in the bedrooms the way they used to. Poor thing! Maybe because he's run down? Ever think of that one? He supports her unnecessary shoe shopping sprees, and the children's needs as well! Sheesh!)
13. I also hate when I see young children in stores beating on their mothers leg or stomachs because they didn't get their way, while the mother just sits there talking with the clerk and pays no mind to this awful act being done to them. I guess it is cool if you're raising a future boxer or UFC fighter. But allowing your kids to beat on you and doing nothing about it is insane!
14. I hate it when I'm out shopping and some extremely rude person nudges me over so they can get a closer look at the object I am standing before. It's rude, wait your damn turn! This is usually the same person that allows their 6 yr old to push the shopping carts into people's ankles while they're walking! Nice!
15. I hate that every single person who passes by my office window stops in to see if they can use my fax machine. If I am in a good mood I say yes, bad mood no.
However when I do give the approval they tell me that they are faxing to some foreign country! What the hell!? I mean damn I'm being nice here, but your just taking advantage of the situation. Go find a faxing place. Sorry!
16. I truly hate when I have no choice and I have to use a public bathroom to go wee. Then when I open the door to every stall the entire toilet is filled with either pee, or some other nasty body ooze, and who the hell has been shaving in here!? (Come on people, haven't you seen the episode of Tyra? You can't catch diseases on toilets. Sit the hell down and pee like a normal human being, don't yank at your private areas and leave hair all over the place, its disgusting! If you can't do that at least clean up after yourself you slob.)
And there you have it. There are many more hates I have. However we could be here all day. As Jerry Springer would say, 'take care of yourself, and each other'

Here Stupid Comes to Ruin the Day!!!

Careful, I'm a time bomb. Wanna play?
Okay, hmmm... where to start?
My mean thoughts usually begin when someone pi**es me off. Today for instance, (I work in Real Estate mind you) I get a phone call from some moron who didn't know what house he was looking at, but hmm... he wanted the price. But that's okay, 'I know the town'
You just want to hand people like this a whip, so they can whip themselves for being so stupid. I swear, you have to try to be this stupid, and he must have been trying really hard.
"Sorry Sir, there's nothing I can do if I don't have an address, or at least an MLS number"
So stupid calls me stupid, and hangs up. I love New York! God bless!
He needed a giant tampon, or an adult diaper. It's obvious he's on his period, and it's obvious he's a little baby. May as well kill two birds with one stone.
It's fun too, because I got his number see... I guess people fail to realize that nowadays most companies have caller I.D.
See stupid doesn't know, that me; stupid... has a stupid brother, who is a stupid cop, and god how easy it is to trace this stupid with a phone number. God I love stupids. I also love the reports I get back from my stupid brother about how he gave stupid a ticket for some stupid reason. We're all gather round the fireplace and we laugh and laugh...stupidly.
Anyways, just when I thought the day couldn't get any worse I go outside to have a drag of my cigg, and some stupid lady comes up to me moaning and complaining that the gift store next door to my office is never open, and "I" should do something about it.
Has the world just grown incredibly stupid today? Is there a bug going round?
I shrugged and wanted to laugh in her face and push her into traffic, but I held my cool, and laughed at the thought of this stupid lady getting hit by a bus. Instead, I shrugged and told her to call the number that is in BOLD letters on the storefront sign.
She's so stupid she wrote it down. HEE HEEE .... See stupid didn't know that the number is for the store. See no one can answer the phone if no one is in. Chuckklllle lucckklle llooooo.
Time kept slipping away and my final 'stupid call' for the day came in, and this is probably what possessed me to write this piece.
The phone rings... ringlle dingllle dingle jingle jooo...
Yep, this stupid is probably the worst kind of stupid. This stupid wanted to know if he could 'buy a house' with a credit card. Up front right then and there.
Hmm... this could be dangerous. I couldn't tell if he was serious or not... but it sounded like he was. I asked anyway. "You serious Brutha!"
I took his information and let another agent deal with his stupidness. Hyyaaahaaa.
But just when things couldn't get any more stupid I watch as an idiot trips over a large hook that holds in the street curbs garbage pails. The pail was off the hook; someone must of stole it or something... but anyways...
Now on the sidewalk remains this dangerous tripping device. It's the best thing I have to look forward to at work everyday.
This one idiot of course trips over it, but then he looks 'DUMBFOUNDED' scratching his chin and all. Obviously his stupid simple mind went too deep into thought.
-Is that drool?
"Yes idiot, you tripped over that idiot"
But he just kept staring at it, like it was some sort of alien form. I had to laugh out loud for that; he just kept looking at it, and looking at it. I was so tempted to scream..."Yeah stupid, it's a hook, see stupid, it's not sunken pirate treasure. It's a damn hook, and your dumb butt went and tripped over it... move on so I can watch someone else fall"
He really took the fun out of the whole experience. Usually I watch one or two people a day trip over it. He's just wasting time now. Hahahaha.
This idiot must of noticed me staring, so either out of frustration or embarrassment, he comes in to tell me "I" should call the town and inform them of this nuisance.
"Yeah, yeah, I'm right on that dumb a-"
However I'm not the idiot who took the flop. Maybe "YOU" should call the town. Don't be a baby, do you need a diaper? Do it yourself. Sheesh.
I picked up the phone, and pretended to dial some random numbers, just to give this moron some satisfaction. Seeing how I was using him for my own amusement, I figured, why not go with it.
Stupid walked out, and didn't even turn back to watch as I hung up.
See the lesson of the day is... If you're going to be stupid, admit you're stupid and walk away. Don't make it worse for yourself by making an a-out of yourself in front of everyone else.
If you trip, don't expect the world to catch you, or care for that matter. You got an issue... DEAL. Don't be pathetic, don't get nasty, and don't ask for help. Help yourself.
But in case you need a hand, I can lend you a tampon if your feeling nasty or a diaper if you're feeling useless. Other than that, I have nothing else to offer but laughter.
At you.

The Sims 2 - Two Hundred Times Better Than the First

I know all of you who have stopped in most likely already know about The Sims 1. Well Maxis has amped it up a lot since then. The Sims 2 was a release fans have known about years before it even hit the shelves. We all drooled together as Maxis released mini teaser photos and video trailers. Then finally as if it couldn't come any sooner, the game hit the shelves.
One small problem, if you were trying to run this game on a low end older PC it was not happening. This game actually caused me to junk my old PC and go out and buy an all out gaming machine.
The Sims 2 required a video card with at least 32 MB of video RAM (such as nvidia GeForce 2 or better or ATI Radeon 7000 or better), then you need at least: 800 MHz processor, 256 MB RAM if Windows XP, 128 MB RAM if Windows 98, Windows ME, or Windows 2000 and at least 3.5 gigs of free hard drive space.
My old computer had none of that, and when I tried sneaking by the requirements I ended up with some slow motion moving Sims. Not good.
SO WHAT IS THE SIMS 2?
Only the best simulation game in the world! Gez! But for real, The Sims 2 is a people simulation game. It's like real life, and you pretty much live it for them. They have needs, such as using the bathroom, eating, socializing, having fun, and sleep. Pretty much your normal everyday life routine, only everything is done in Sim land.
Your Sims need to have jobs in order to make money to afford more expensive items such as cars, Jacuzzis, and more luxurious household items. This is basically the game in a nutshell, only their are tons of things that were added in The Sims 2 in order to make the game more appealing.
The Sims need housing, and you can choose whether or not they move into a pre-built home, or if you decide to build the home from scratch. Building homes from scratch are always the most fun.
Your Sims have a new bar in this game, they now have aspiration meters. Every morning you're Sims menu will pop up with new things they want to do. If you complete the task, the Sims aspiration meter will rise. The higher it goes, the happier the Sim will be.
The Sims also have fears, such as seeing a ghost, or changing a diaper. If your Sim runs into one of these tasks their meters will fall into the red. If you Sims meter falls too far into the red, they will get a visit from the head doctor. This doctor will only be seen by that depressed Sim. So if you want to see the shrink, make sure you click on that Sim.
BUILD YOUR FAMILY:
Or make some celebrities to roam in your Sim town. The best part about the Sims 2 is building a Sim, or Sim family. Maxis has added tons of new features, and you can even build you Sim to look like you if you are crafty. You choose the shape of the face, nose, eyes, lip, chin, ears. You can adjust everything on the face. Make a Sim with a huge nose, or flat one. The possibilities are endless. There is also a limited amount of hair styles, but you can always download content online for new styles. You can have up to 6 Sims living in a household at one time. However if your PC is jacked up you can fit even more.
I like building celerity families. But if Angelina adopts more kids, I won't be able to fit them all in. Haha!
Anyhow, after you have your Sim looking the way you want, you can then move them into an empty lot, or pre-built home. If any of your Sims have children their children will take on their look through genetics. It's pretty neat. So if your mom Sim has a big nose, and the dad Sim has a big nose, most likely the baby will too.
BABIES:
This time around Maxis has surprised us all by adding in birth. You can get a Sim pregnant by making whoopie in either a bed, jacuzzi, photo booth, or elevator. Once two male and female Sims have a high relationship, the 'try for baby' button will become available. If the pregnancy was successful you will hear a mini chime. You have to really be listening to hear it, as it is a very light noise.
Your Sim will now be pregnant for 4 days, and as the days go by you will watch as her stomach grows until she gives birth. Fear not though, there is no mess scenes here. The Sim will moan for a bit, and the screen will blank out. Next a baby will literately fall from the sky and land into the Sims arms. The baby will be either a boy or girl, and there is also a very random chance of having twins! Next you name the baby or babies.
Your baby will age, and you can see how old he or she is by looking over at the new AGE meter. The age meter will tell you how many more days till your Sim becomes a toddler, child, teen, adult and elder.
MEN CAN GIVE BIRTH TOO:
Thats right, keep staring through the telescope and the aliens will come and get you. They will impregnate your sim, and soon the male sim will give birth to a bouncing 'green' baby. They do nothing special, but look green.
TODDLERS:
In 3 days a baby will become a toddler. Here you start teaching your child how to speak, walk, and use the potty. This is a very important time in a Sims life. If the toddler is ignored, it will suffer aspiration failure and grow up unhappy as they become a child.
CHILDREN:
As a Sim child your Sims basic job is to just have fun and complete homework. They go to school 5 days a week from 8am to 3pm, and will be off on Saturday and Sunday. They sometimes will bring a friend from school home with them on the bus. This is good for socializing, and hey, maybe this friend will turn into a potential date in the future?
Older Sims can influence younger Sims as well. They can teach them to be nice to others, or to be neat instead of sloppy. It takes a lot of work to add on points, but you can fill up a Sims personality bank before they turn into teens.
TEENS:
At this age your Sims can get a part time after school job. Or they can just live it up. At this age some of your Sims may become rebellious towards other family members, and fighting occurs a lot between other teen relatives, so watch out! honestly though there is no way to get a teen to stop fighting or hating a sibling. They could have even had a great relationship as they were children, then one day... one hits the other, and the rest is history.
As a teen your Sims will run away from home if they feel neglected. The cops will bring the teen back the next day if they find him or her, or the teen will return in 3 days if not found.
Sim teens will also sometimes sneak out with a boyfriend or group of friends. You don't get to go with them though, but they will return back to the lot at around 6am with low need levels.
Did I jump the gun and say boyfriend? Yep, teen Sims can now have boyfriends and girlfriends. The Sims 2 does not limit it to male female relations either. Your Sim boys can date Sim boys, and Sim girls can date Sim girls.
Tenn Sims can kiss, make-out, and flirt, but they cannot make whoopie yet.
CHILD PROTECTIVE AGENCY:
If a toddler is starving or neglected the social worker will pull up in a black van and take all children from the lot away. So take care of your kids!
The social worker will visit if the child is hungry, or doing bad in school.
ADULTS:
As adults you have the job of bringing home money, raising a family, and preparing for retirement. Once your Sims have achieved their aspiration, which may be to become a famous chef, their aspiration meter will remain in the platinum zone until death. Once you have enough aspiration points, you can buy new unlockable items.
ELDERS:
Your Sims can still work, but you can also choose for him or her to retire and they will get paid a weekly pension. Depending on how well your Sims has lived his or her life will determine how much longer the Sim has to live. Your Sim can live up to 25 days more as an elder. But if your Sim had a shaky unbalanced life, they may die sooner.
Death will come, dressed as the grim reaper to collect the old person, and an urn will be left behind. If you move the urn outside, you can have a gravestone for your other Sims to mourn at. This Sim ghost may visit every now and then, or not. (There is also a way to resurrect dead Sims, but I will cover this later).
RELATIONSHIPS:
Sims make relationships with other Sims either in the neighborhood, or by you setting up their relationships in the build a Sim mode.
The relationship will grow stronger the more they pay attention to one another. As time goes on eventually one Sim or both Sims will grow crushes on one another. Once a crush has been established it's pretty easy to take it to the next level into love. Once love is present your Sims can do everything a couple would do; even whoopie.
However if your Sim is ever caught flirting with another Sim, the other party will get a cheating memory that will be stored into their memory bank. That Sim will then fall out of love, and resent the cheating Sim for quite some time. It is hard to repair a relationship once cheating is involved, but it can be done if you work on it.
You can cheat on other Sims you are involved in so long as they are not on the lot. But be careful, if someone else spotted you, they will store this memory, and if they happen to talk to the Sim you are cheating on, they may tell him or her. It can be a really drama filled experience once Sims cheat. Children will be effected if they find out, and will resent the cheating Sim as well.
Fights:
Sometimes two Sims just don't get along. Their personalities clash and they just hate to even be in the same room as them. If they come in contact with one another teasing may occur first, which will lower the relationship score into the red zone. Once a Sim has a -100 relationship with another Sim a brawl can break out. The most fit Sim usually wins.
Your Sim can get fit by using exercises equipment, swimming in the pool, doing yoga, or working out to the TV. Beef your Sim up if they are prone to fighting.
DEATH:
Sims can die. Not only due to old age, but other factors can play a part in a Sims death. A Sim with low skills in mechanical may try to fix a broken TV set, if they get zapped death could occur. There is also a small random chance that a satellites crashes down on them while they are watching clouds outside. You can also starve a Sim which will cause death. Also if the house is a mess a swarm of flies could also eat you alive. This is a rare odd occurrence, but can happen. Your Sims can also die in fires and in the pool.
Once death comes to collect, if there are Sims who have high relationships with the dying Sim, they can bargain with Death. He will roll a dice, and if you win, the Sim lives. But if your relationship is not too high, and you win this Sim may come back as a zombie. If you loose the Sim dies.
Depending on why the Sim died will play a role in whether or not this Sim comes back to haunt.
If a Sim dies from hunger, and there is no food in the fridge, it may throw things in the house around, or turn lights on and off, and sometimes even scaring other Sims to death.
If a Sim is electrocuted they will be a yellow ghost. If a Sim drowns, blue. In a fire, red and smoking. It's pretty neat having ghosts haunting the lot, especially angry ones. Heheh!
OTHER WAYS TO BRING BACK A DEAD SIM:
You can call them on the psychic phone. They however may come back as a zombie. The psychic phone can only be bought once someone gets a career in the paranormal. After that you can call up any dead Sim on the lot.
MAID!
Like in the Sims 1, a maid can be called upon to clean the home. She or he will arrive from 11 am till 5pm or until the house is fully cleaned. If you notice a maid not doing her or his job efficiently, you can fire them, and rehire someone else.
SHOPS:
There are stores in the neighborhood you can visit, or you can build yourself. From coffee shops, to hang out spots for your Sims to meet with other Sims. Your Sims can get here by calling a cab, or driving their car. Yep! The Sims can now drive!
BUILD MODE:
This section is based primarily on building your home, and making gardens. Here you will find building supplies such as windows, doors, walls, fences, pools, lawn coverings, plants, bushes, trees, roofs, fireplaces, columns for the home, and many many more things. Building a home can take a lot of time, but it adds a game to the game. There is nothing I like more than building a dream home for my Sims.
DON'T STOP THERE:
You can now purchase expansion and stuff packs to add even more into your game. I recommend sticking to the expansion packs though, and ignoring the stuff packs.
Expansion packs will add pets, a college, a downtown, businesses, or seasons! The expansion packs are a must have for any Sim fan.
You can also download original content at www.thesims2.com, or google keywords 'Sims 2 downloads'.
OVERALL:
Bravo, this is an excellent game indeed, and I couldn't recommend it more. The game play is endless, and so is the fun. Making Sim dreams come true, or wreaking havoc! It's up to you.
AVAILABILITY:
The Sims 2 is now available almost everywhere, Game Stop, Target, Walmart, or online at the Sims 2 site. The price still remains at $39.99 and has not gone down since it's release. But there are times it goes on sale, and there are some releases for the same price that come with more items and game aspects than just the original title. It's called The Sims 2 Deluxe.

Professional House Cleaners: How to Tell If You're Being Taken Advantage Of

I've had my fair share of jobs, okay not really I have had 2 official long term jobs, and everything else I do on the side is simply because I'm greedy for a quick buck.
My cousin Destiny and I decided to throw (literately overnight) ourselves into a part time business career. Or so we thought. House cleaning. We weren't licenses, nor insured, but we offered a decent price compared to most non-legit house cleaning companies. You got 2 for the price of 1. We charged around $200 for a top to bottom cleaning. I'm talking us arriving at the home at 7am and finishing at 9pm. We did not miss a spot.
When my cousins boyfriend got our first client for us, we were hyped and ready to go, and we hoped she liked our work enough to have us come back regularly. Besides an extra $100 bucks each was not bad for one day of work.
Her name was Mrs. Hersh. She was a slob. I'm not talking your average slob, I mean a big one! Cat poo on top of cabinets, food in cupboards stuck to plates, dishes piled up on counters so old and dirty that mold was growing on them.
I swear the board of health would of shut this dump down. We looked at eachother, eyes aglow. No way in hell was I sitting there all day and cleaning this dump for $200.
Mrs. Hersh told us her story about how she had arthritis and couldn't clean, blah blah... and that she'd give us an extra $100 each, and that she was embarrassed. So the greed in our hearts said yes, but our eyes said no.
We worked our butts off that day, and even at 10pm the job was not fully finished. But we had our money. As we were about to leave and never look back, she tells us to come back tomorrow to help her with some 'stuff''.
Okay, but I hope she knows shes paying us again, my cousin sighed under her breath.
The next day, us; the cleaning ladies arrive to her home, and this time she wants us to ' pack and move furniture'. Now I had never heard of a cleaning lady moving, and packing furniture. Basically that day we played the role of the 'mover guys'. It was not easy work either. It consisted of packing up her entire house in bubble wrap and boxes, and heaving it out to a mover van.
After 4 hours of non stop work, we both wonder what she is paying us, seeing how we were both too frigging shy to make a price from the get go. After 5 hours though, I thought to myself, a mover would be paid about $500 for this fu**ing job. I figured we bat for $200 each again.
By 5pm we were not even half done. Not only that as we are in the basement, she manages to heave her huge a$$ down the stairs and had the never to say "girls, see that fridge over there, do you think you could somehow manage to carry it up and put it out front for the garbage man?"
I nearly died laughing-inside of course. Not only did this fridge outweighed us both combined, but it was also crammed in the corner of the basement. This loony mofo actually expected us 2 girls to flop a fridge on our backs and carry it up her long narrow flight of stairs. Was she out of her mind?!Was she sick in the head?
By now, I see the pattern, this woman is seriously taking advantage of this entire situation. We were house cleaning ladies. Not movers, not back breakers. We come in and clean. Yet here I am, moving her things.
We pretty much looked at her like she was insane, and said there was no way in hell we're lugging that ancient fridge up on our backs. We will either, one, kill ourselves, or 2, throw out our back. We may be young, we may of been strong, but there was no way I was risking my health, and life for this pig.
So more time goes by, and at this time we have nearly her entire house packed nicely into the back of the moving truck. We are exhausted, and shes still their breathing down our necks. Next all that was left was a minor vacuuming, and a dusting, and spray down of the bathrooms. The would only take us about an half hour.
So while I'm on my hands and knees hanging on to the last ounce of energy I have left, she taps me on the shoulder. "Could you girls clean my linens". Okay so I'm thinking, what the hell is 'linens'. I don't use language like that, so she leads me into her bedroom, and there is a massive pile of shi* on the bed. Clothes, towels, bras, underwear, and curtains. I guess those are linens?
Me and Destiny took turns lugging loads into her shabby outdoor washing room. We manage to quickly get a few loads done, and finally said, screw it, because if we kept going back and fourth from drying, to cleaning, to folding, back to house cleaning, we'd be there all night.
Finally Mrs. Hersh goes online, and is quiet for a good solid 20 minutes. Her being in the way was causing a drag in the time, and it made it hard to get things done. I couldn't even bare to look at her without wanting to push her down a flight of stairs. This woman, was taking advantage of us, and it was clear as day. By now, my mind and body, and my cousin whispered, '$1,000 is not even worth this B.S.' But here I was again, on the floor vacuuming. AHHH!
I watched from the floor like a dog, as Mrs. Cow slurped on a cup of lemonade. I knew this was another fuc**** dish I would have to hand clean! I hope she choked on a cube.
Next I hear my cousin yelling in the bathroom, waking me from my daydream. As she was cleaning the tub, she accidentally hit the shower button and soaked herself. I looked at her pathetically, not that I thought she was pathetic, but just that 'we got in way over our heads' look.
She dries off, and now... yes the best part. Now the damn tub will not drain the water. Mrs. Hersh has the nerve to ask if we could stick out wet/dry vac down the drain to suck up whatever is clogged. Yay! So now we are the goddamn plumbers!? That'll be another $500 I thought viciously in my head. After a few moments of struggling, it turned out the damn drain plug notch was causing the water not to go down.
Back to work, vrrrooom vacuuming...... Mrs.Hersh enters the room, and asks us to stop what we are doing to help her pick couch covers. Was she serious!? Was she drunk!? We just wanted to finish our work, and go the hell home. It was about 8:30pm now. So we are sitting in front of her computer, as we help decide which cover slip would look best on such and such a couch. The whole thing was just bullsh--.
Finally she decided on one, and orders 4. Grand total, $400 for some couch slips. This cow better pay us good, she seems to have no problem buying expensive couch covers.
Okay, its almost 10pm, and we are finally done. Or so we though, Mrs. Hersh notices her outdoor canopy ma-jiggie needs to be folded up. What the hell? We didn't even bother going outside to try and disassemble her piece of crap canopy. Or bones ached, we were filthy, and our boogers were black. I felt unhealthy, ready to hurl.
She asks...how much? I wanted to say a grand, easily a grand. But the idiot I am, I say nothing. She then hands us both $200 and asks us to come back tomorrow. Nope... we both had our other jobs to attend.
She then says, "you guys are a blessing, you got this place cleaned up, and empty in 2 days. Thank God because my summer rentals are moving in tomorrow. But you made $400 each. Thats pretty dang good for only 2 days of work right!?"
I wanted to punch her in the face. 2 days of work usually consist of only 16 hours of work. With a break! Not 25 hours of non stop working and tedious jobs.
So for 2 days of my life, I was a plumber, a laundromat, a house cleaning lady, a home decorator, and a mover. All for $400. Not to mention the cleaning equipment, and supplies cost about $100. We gained practically nothing; except exhaustion, burning muscles, and anger.
That house should of just been burnt down; condemned. I have never felt more taken advantage of.
Now when we get small house cleaning jobs on the side, we name a price from the get go, anything extra is an additional $20. We learned a valuble lesson from Mrs. Hersh, and her conning ways. We now follow guidelines when we take on cleaning jobs.
HOW TO SPOT WHEN YOU'RE BEING TAKEN ADVANTAGE OF:
1. They will ask you to do favors that have nothing to do with house cleaning.
2. They will you to pick something up on the way there. Then not pay you when you get it for them.
3. They will be down your back the entire time, and knowing you have not had a break, will not offer one.
4. They will ask you to preform jobs that a group of strong men should be doing.
5. They will leave garbage around the house, as you are cleaning, causing you to have to go back and re-clean the area again.
WHAT NOT TO DO:
1. Accept a price 'they' give you.
2. Do extra work without naming a price
3. Laundry. This job can easily take 3 hours, cleaning, drying and folding.
4. Dishes. You are the to vacuum, dust, clean widows, tubs, toilets, floors, counters, sinks, and everything else that looks messy. Not their dishes.
5. Do not forget to add the price of supplies into the overall cost of cleaning the home. The supplies alone could cost you $60-$100 per job. Add it in.
6. Do not feel bad for the person, do not get too friendly. Getting overly friendly is an open invitation to getting taken advantage of.
7. Do not get them groceries, or cook for them unless you are getting paid extra. Gas costs money, and cooking is time. Unless this is in the job description, do not get conned into it after cleaning their home.
8. If you are in a home for 3 hours, and feel like you are being taken advantage. Ask for the money they owe you.. but not in full. Make up an 'emergency at home' lie, and never look back.
9. Do not give them a pay by the hour price. They will try to get you to come in, rush you around, and abuse you for 3 or 4 hours depending on how long they need you.
10. Do not overprice easy jobs. If it's a once over, price it fairly. You want repeat customers like this.
You will be shocked by what people try to get away with for free. Some will go on a power trip, and some will not want to pay you for certain extra jobs. Simply don't do them. I can't stress it enough. Time is money. The more time you waste working extra jobs at one house, the less time you have to finish the next one.
WHAT TO DO:
1. If you walk into a house in shambles, do not be afraid to price it at $500. It is a blessing for them to get such cheap work.
2. If the homeowner keeps adding on tasks, do not be afraid to tell them, that'll be extra. If they have a problem with that, don't argue. Just don't do it.
3. If the homeowner keeps interfering with you getting your work done in a timely fashion, kindly ask that they leave.
4. If the homeowner asks you to stop for something on the way in, or while you are in the middle of work, let them know it will be an additional price, and that they are to pay for gas.
5. Do take a breather. Do not let a homeowner work you to the bone. You need to stop and eat if you are doing a long tedious job. Bring your lunch with you.
6. If a homeowner does not want to pay for extra work, do not feel bad for them and do the job for free.
7. Do a good job. No slacking. If you see a mess, clean it, don't hide it. If you see dust, dust it! Don't take advantage of a good homeowner.
Now after all of that, if you still think you have what it takes to follow up with this job/career, go for it. The money can be nice, if you are not being taken advantage of.

How to Care for Your Hermit Crab

Hermit crabs are easy pets, they require little attention and care. For the most part, a hermit crab would make a great first time pet for children. Care consists of keeping the tank clean, feeding, baths and water.
First you will need a tank, a 10 gallon tank would be the best size to keep your crab happy. Smaller tanks for one crab though is fine too. You will need to buy soil or moss. They have special mosses and dirt for you to add to your tank in any local pet store. You will also need a water dish, and a separate food dish.
You can get creative and subdivide your tank into half water, half sand. Do make sure though that the water is not deeper than the height of your crabs face. They can drown in water, so make sure it's a small puddle of water. Also purchase s water soaking sponge. They sell these in pet stores. They are small orange colored sponges in odd shapes, pick out a nice big one. This sponge retains water, that your crab will drink and sometimes perch on.
You can also buy hermit crab logs. They like to hide in these at times during the day. The way your tank looks in the long run is all based on how creative you are. Lighting is not necessary, but you can add a small 15 watt reptile light to your tank to add heat. However this is not necessary in summer months. Do not leave the light on for more than a few hours a day. You could dry out the habitat, and hermits like moisture.
Crabs also like to climb, you can add a small thick sturdy log into the tank for your hermit crab. They like high places, but make sure the log is not too high. If the crab falls from high places it could kill him.
Once you have your tank all set up, next you pick your hermit crab. You can get a small one or a larger one. But be sure to always buy some shells in larger sizes. Your hermit will grow and will need a new home. Leave these empty shells in the tank. When your hermit has grown, he will pick a new shell. You can save, or discard the old one.
Always provide fresh water to your hermit daily, and fresh food every 2-3 days. There are also specially designed hermit crab fruits and treats you can buy at any local pet store. You should also add a fresh egg shell once a week to chomp on.
Make sure you buy a water spritzer, your crab will require a spritz or 2 every other day to keep the tank moist. Your crab will also need a bath every so often. I simply run mine under running water for a few seconds. You can also submerge him in a bowl of room temperature water for a few seconds. Dry him off a bit, and wash your hands afterward.
FIGHT!!!
If you have more than one hermit crab always make sure to provide plenty of empty shells for them to move into. At times they will fight for shells.
PINCHER'S:
Hermit crabs have huge pincher's. One is small, and the large one is used for battle and to protect itself. Your hermit may pinch you if you are not careful. The pinches though are quick, and do not hurt too bad. They have never once drawn blood from my fingers. But a nasty hermit may clamp on and hold on. DO NOT FLING you hand. You could kill the crab. Simply run him under water until he lets go.
SIZE:
Your small hermit crab can grow up to 3 inches and more with proper care, habitat, and time. Do make sure you have empty shells in hand.
CLEANING:
Not only do hermit require baths, but so do their tanks. Give it a good cleaning once a week, and check any sand or moss for poop. Clean it out, it could cause mites to invade the tank if you do not clean up regularly. I clean mine daily to make ensure there is no weekly giant clean up. Clean up though, is quick and easy.
PLAY:
You can let your crabs out to play every now and then, but they honestly should be handled with care. Do not keep them out long, and do not shake them. You can let them out to walk around, but keep them at ground level, and do not leave them unattended.
Always wash your hands after handling a hermit.
MOLTING:
Yep they shed their shells. Molting happens about once every year for larger crabs. They are very soft at this time, and if you notice your molting, separate him from other crabs. They are vulnerable until they become hard again.
Molting has signs, if you see your active crab becoming lazy, it is a sign he may be molting. Their color may also look dull, and they will eat and drink a lot more than usual. Do not remove the exoskeleton. The molting crab will eat this to recover. This is a source of calcium, just like egg shells.
FOODS:
Besides what you can buy you can also feed your crab hard boiled eggs, broccoli, carrots, lettuce, spinach, turkey, chicken, oranges, apples, grapes, potatoes, popcorn, granola, and raisins. Use sparingly and clean up everyday if you feed them these foods.
OVERALL:
Although a hermit crab is an easy animal to care for, do realize that they do need care. You can't just buy one, throw it in a tank and expect great results. Follow simple steps to maintain a happy and healthy hermit.
Enjoy.

Calling All Trend Hunters: The Latest Trends in Everything!

Did you know that there is a site that lists the newest daily trends. I'm not talking what Paris Hilton's hair looks like, or what shoes Lindsay Lohan is wearing, I'm talking about the coolest gadgets one can only dream up.
Did you know they are making a gum that when you chew it will disperse a scent through your skin for up to an hour after chewing it? Yeah it sounds like a Willy Wonka fantasy, but it is reality just waiting to be chewed on.
Wouldn't you ladies love to get your hands on a perfume ring, where with a little tap to the ring it will spritz out scent for you to wear!? I know I wouldn't mind trying one out.
I know all you business moguls out there are going to love this one. A solar powered jacket that will charge your things, such as cell phones. Or how about a glimpse into the newest car releases before they are even available.
If you can dream it, most likely Trend Hunters has already found who has made it.
WHAT IS TREND HUNTER:
Trend Hunter is all of the latest trends, its news reports that the news does not always cover, yet trend hunters will. It's a geeks wet dream, and a dreamers playground.
WHAT SETS TREND HUNTERS APART FROM OTHER SITES:
Trend hunter allows users to find the cool trendy items, either on their own or on the Internet. Then users can write a small description of what it is, where to get it, who made it, and when it will be released.
What makes trend hunters so addicting is that they pay. If you find a hot item, or have a hot story, trend hunters may publish you into their magazine. Of course you get paid for your article!
Trend Hunter is an easy site to navigate. They divide their newest trends into category's, or you are free to view all of them at once. Category's include technology, sex, business and marketing, pop culture, art and design, lifestyle, science, world, random and popular trends.
I like to view them ALL at one time, as there are about 10-30 new trends added daily.
What is also great about trend hunters, is that no 2 stories or trends are the same. It can get annoying to view a site where 30 people are reporting the exact same trend just in different words.
TRENDS IN TECHNOLOGY:
I'm just going to throw a few out there, if you visit the site though, expect to see tons more. But here are just a few neat gadgets making their way to consumers.
1. Canada has made the first ambulance to accommodate morbidly obese patients weighing in at 44-1,000 pounds.
2. Space station is brightest man made object in the sky.
3. Convertible stiletto shoes. These shows transform into flats with the click of a button making driving easy.
TRENDS IN SEX:
1. Anti pervert underwear have been developed to block IR beams from perverts cameras taking up skirt photos of woman.
2. Sydney Australia has many upset locals due to a topless car wash, that also offers lap dances to customers.
3. Vortex Vibrations is a new sex toy that attaches to your vacuum cleaner
4. There is a site called myfreeinplants where men donate money to women to help them pay for boob jobs.
TRENDS IN FASHION:
1. A new sole bag will get that new shoe smell...in your purse.
2. For the fashionistas, Chanel has created a new designer tennis racket, for those obsessed with name brands.
3. Glow in the dark tattoos have also recently hit the club scene.
TRENDS IN ART:
1. Someone had posted please on a you tube video to send him your free sample piece of tempur pedic mattress. You could sign the piece if you wanted. His goal...to make his own bed for free.
There are honestly so many interesting gadgets and doo dads here on the site, and what's best is that nearly all of them come with the included information so that you too can purchase the neat items you see on the site. Some of the trend include galleries of pictures, where others include actual video.
THE SITE:
You can find the site here at www.Trendhunter.com. You are free to view every trend on the site. But when you become a free member you can also view trends that did not make it to website publication. This does not mean that these unpublished trends are less cooler, because believe me, they're all pretty frigging awesome.
POPULARITY:
Even nerds like being popular, and on trend hunter, you can become popular. By adding in your own found trends that no one else has written about you gain status every time someone clicks in to read your article. You also gain status by posting 'the most' trends. Everything you post is still you're work, and anyone wanting to use your article in a magazine will be paying you.
MY USE:
I have posted a few neat trends I have found on the Internet. But I have yet to receive any pay. This is because when I find something neat, I write a quick description on what it is, where to get it, and how much it costs, and if it is available yet. If you go into more detail though your chances of getting recognized are better.
Pay or now pay, I just love visiting the site everyday to see what the latest trends are. I'm surprised everyday by what they come up with. Things I would not even of imagined.
Check it out! As Paris would say, "That's hot!"

Hasbro's Tooth Tunes: Toothbrush Puts Music in Your Mouth, Not in Your Ears

When I first saw a commercial for 'tooth tunes' by Hasbro I was immediately drawn in. What a concept! A toothbrush that will play music through my teeth, and into my head. Uh huh!
Once I saw the commercial I also wondered how expensive this new tooth brush would be. $20, $30, maybe more? Once my mind started thinking about the ridiculous price, I realized it wasn't something I really needed. However on a recent trip to K-Bee Toys with my niece, I found the tooth tunes I knew I would want. It was one specially designed with Napoleon Dynamite in mind. It played the Canned Heat song from his famous dancing scene, and it also played some mini clips Napoleon Dynamite is famous for. I slid my $10 over to the clerk and made my way home with my new tooth tunes tooth brush.
The toothbrush itself was designed for a child's mouth, but I didn't care, I wanted to try it! Why should kids be the only ones to get all of the cool stuff!?
The toothbrush itself was packaged in a plastic seal, that almost landed me in the emergency room while trying to rip it open. Why companies still insist on making plastic packaging so heavy duty is beyond me? A simple box would have suited just fine, and would have been more Eco-friendly...but whatever. A warning to those buying this one, be careful when opening this packages, and try not to use a knife like I did.
The toothbrush was blue and had Napoleon's picture attached to the handle. Each tooth tune brush has a different song, and will also feature their face on the toothbrush. Colors of brushes will also vary.
The toothbrush itself is supposedly designed for children's hands, however it seemed large and bulky to me. I could see a child easily dropping this one numerous times while trying to hold on to the toothbrush. On the handle is a small button. If you press this button and hold the toothbrushes head down a bit, you can actually hear mumbles of music before even putting it into your mouth. I was a bit mad about this, I was thinking you'd only hear it while brushing! I felt like I had just bought a gimmick.
I read the box before using it, it mentions that music will play for approximately 2 minutes while brushing. This is how long you should be brushing you teeth, so when the music stops you know that it's time to stop brushing.
I then read the cool description. Its basically the same thing they mentioned on the commercials. The music travels through your teeth, through the jawbone, and to the inner ear. That's how you hear the music. Bah! I was hearing it even without brushing.
I placed some toothpaste on the brush, and began brushing. Keep in mind that you will hear muffles of nothing if you leave the water running while brushing; so turn it off!
I heard the music while I was brushing, but it was a very low tone sound. In order for me to really hear sound, I had to place the back of the tooth brushes head on my teeth. But who the hell brushes with the back of it? I cant brush with the plastic part! But this seems to be the only way to hear a good quality sound. Bummer. Not only that, but in order to hear the song at it's best, you can't move it around. So instead of making a toothbrush that plays music, they should have made a toothpick or tooth stick to place in your mouth for music. Not only that, but the tooth brush played the mini clips in the middle of the music. The interruption was annoying. I thought it would play things separately, but it didn't.
This whole musical toothbrush concept is a bust!
OTHER TUNES:
For those of you with spoiled kids screaming and moaning that the 'need' one, even after reading how lame this product is, you can also check out tunes from Hilary Duff, High School Musical, Beach Boys, Black Eyed Peas, YMCA, Kiss, Rocky theme song, and many many more.
You can read more, and check out all available songs at http://www.hasbro.com/toothtunes/.
PRICING AND AVAILABILITY:
You can pick up any tooth tune tooth brush for $10 or less. I have seen them at Toys'r'us, K-Bee Toys, and Walmart. I'm sure though that you can find them at any store in the bath product isles.
OVERALL:
I'd seriously just avoid them. Although your kids may be driving you crazy over them, they are no better than a standard $2 toothbrush. Not only that but if your kid is attempting to hear the music best and places the plastic head of the toot brush on their teeth for too long, I could imagine chipping happening if they bite down on it too hard. I wouldn't recommend this waste of natural resources to anyone.

Guide on How to Throw a Block Party

I've been to many block party's in my short time here on Earth, and my family has pulled together a pretty decent handful of them. So I figured I would discuss the ins and outs when it comes to pulling one together.
First you want to spread the word, tell each surrounding neighbor around you, see what they think about the idea. Not everyone is going to be happy about this event, every block has the grumpy old man, or the rich snob who does not want to interact with others. Believe me, one grumpy SOB could ruin the fun for everyone.
Anyways, if all is well, you will have the entire block joining in on the fun, or half. Either way, it's going to be fun. The best time of year for a block party is of course, the summer time. We usually throw a huge block party on the 4th of July, Labor Day or Memorial Day. People usually have this day off from work, so nearly everyone can attend.
After you have established the block party, be sure to make flyers to stick in mailboxes of those at the far end of your block. Most block partys are only half of the block, but thats because people fail to spread the word to those father down the road. Come on! Don't leave anyone out.
WHAT YOU NEED:
Now you have a date, you know who is attending, next you want a sheet of things you will need. Just because the block party was your idea, does not mean all costs are your responsibility. Write up a booklet of things you will need. You will be surprised at how much pull some of your neighbors have. One of our neighbors had a cousin who hosted children's parties, and she was more than happy to join in on the fun and make balloon animals for neighborhood kids. Ask around, is anyone in the neighborhood related to someone that could possibly make things even funner?
You will also need food, hello! Assign someone to bring chips, lots of chips, another person napkins and soda, salads, fruits, does someone have a large BBQ grill that you could use, see who wouldn't mind cooking a few hot dogs and hamburgers up. But do make sure to be courteous, don't throw such a large task on one person. You don't want to upset anyone, or have any unhappy campers at a block party. Everyone is there to have fun. So don't assign just one person to cooking duties. Everyone has to help!
We always have our neighbors drag out their BBQ grills and they cook for their friends and family. If you want to exchange recipes or sample tastes, feel free. But do not grub off of anyone and expect them to cook for you, unless that is how your party is assigned. Remember each person has their family, and their friends over to eat. Make things easy and drag out your own grill.
ENTERTAINMENT:
Make sure you have entertainment. Hire a DJ, band, or heck, even a CD player is fine. Allow neighbors use to the player, so they may put in what they like. Play something light and easy. No hard rock or rap music. I find that a CD player playing a few beach boys tunes always sets the summer mood just fine, and its light enough as to where it does not bother anyone. Once it gets semi late, do make sure you lower music to an acceptable noise level as to where it will not annoy people on blocks over. The last thing you want is the police to come and break up all the fun.
What else do you have? Say you are throwing a block party on the 4th of July, you're going to want to make sure, you, or someone on the block has hook up to some damn good fireworks. Remember, their are tons of hot spots for people to go on the 4th. Make your block party worth it to come back every year.
We have a neighbor at the end of the block who's husband works for Grucci. We always have the best fireworks in town.
POOL:
If you have a pool, or a neighbor has one, ask if people can use it. If children are there always make sure their is an adult supervising the area. If it gets out of control close the pool up. If no one can supervise close it up.
Also take turns supervising. No one wants to sit by the pool all day while everyone else is out having fun. Close the pool up at night. Lock all gates. It is dangerous for children to be swimming at night even with supervision.
BARRICADE IT!
Once you have in order who is brining or making what your next step is to call the local town officials for a road barricade. No one wants cars driving through while a party is going on in the middle of the street. If anyone has friends or family coming in, make a designated parking spot. The roads will fill up fast, and probably inconvenience other people on other blocks due to the line of cars. Do make sure everyone guests do NOT park in someones driveway, or block anyone in. Being rude to those blocks over could land a phone call to the police.
Party Crashers...
Sometimes neighbors from other blocks will hear the fun and try to sneak in. Keep a wary eye, you don't want any rude party crashers wreaking havoc. Usually they will try to blend in and do a good job of it. So long as they are well mannered don't make a big deal of it. However if you see these people just grubbing tons of food, ask them kindly to leave. You certainly don't want to feed someone whom has not chipped in. If you are too kind, before you know it, you will be feeding his whole family. Use hospitality, but sparingly when you are being taken advantage of.
FAMILY AND FRIENDS:
A head count is not always necessary, but it is nice to have a good idea of just how many people are attending. Do ask neighbors if they are inviting an family or friends, and ask for an idea. A perfect number is unnecessary.
SETTING UP:
A few hours before the party begins, you want to set up and make the neighborhood look inviting and fun. Hang balloons up on every single mailbox. Use streamers on fences, or party lights on fences, and bring out some candles. At night you want things lit up, the party does not have to stop just because night falls. Hand out glow necklaces and dollar store flashlights to children. Bring out any outdoor tents you may have, or ask neighbors to set up ones they may own. Set them up IN THE STREET for everyone to use.
Be sure to set up lawn chairs, as many as you have. It does not matter who sits in them, just make them available to your neighbors.
CHILDREN:
Children easily get bored and get annoying if there is not proper entertainment for them. Order a blow up trampoline, or if there is one in the neighborhood, drag it out into the front yard for everyone to use. Do monitor use of the trampoline, or at least make sure there is a safety gate around it.
You may also have someone face paint, or even hire a clown to roam around for an hour or so. Cotton candy machines are also available for rent at local party supply stores, as well as popcorn machines.
Bring out any fun activities for children, and adults alike. Bring out badminton, a soccer ball, set up a volleyball net, drag out a slip and slide for the kids, roll any basketball hoops into the street, and bring out a pile of old squirt guns you may have in the basement, or make a decent sized garbage pail filled with water balloons. A water balloon fight is fun for adults and children alike. Just take a look around your home, you may have more fun things than you think you do.
While everyone is mingling and having a good time, it's easy to loose track of your child, always make sure you keep a close eye on your child, or anyone else's child. Having something bad happen to someone at a block party could cause the block party to be shut down never to occur again.
Before you know it, you will have your entire block kicking, and a party that everyone will look forward to year after year- don't be shy, go and mingle!
HAVE FUN, & ENJOY!

Archie Comics: So Does the Red Head Freckle Faced Kid Ever Get Laid?

Let my dirty mind be honest, and share a dirty secret of mine that I have yet to tell anyone. Yes, consider yourselves all lucky, this is some exclusive personal information.
I, Melissa Lynn, have been buying Archie comics for nearly 10 years because for some sick twisted reasoning, my mind tells me that maybe, just maybe, if the stars are lined up right Archie Andrews is going to nail that Betty.
Comic after comic, digest after digest and still the poor red head barely even gets a kiss. Yes his eyes fill with hearts, and he drools, but he never even gets so much as a little titty squeeze, yet for some reason I keep buying the comics. I have some so old they're actually probably worth a decent amount of money by now. But before I sell them, I have to go through them all again and just double check, because yah know, maybe I missed a strip where some humping may have occurred.
So what draws me to Archie comics, even when I know that Archie is never going to score?
It's probably the thought that maybe it will happen, but its not just my sick thought, it's the comic itself. The characters, I grew up with them. I have been reading Archie's since I learned my ABC's. What's not to love about the freckle faced red head from Riverdale? The rich snob Veronica, and her best friend Betty, the wholesome beautiful blond that has a head on her shoulders. The doofus Moose, the teachers, the janitor, the parents, the characters that pop in randomly, never to be seen again in future issues.
I love the cheesy jokes that have never changed, I love how Archie comics also include small skits Sabrina the Teenage Witch, Josie and the Pussycat Dolls, and Lil Jinx.
I like the childish word hunts, and puzzles that the comics add in with the rest of the book. I love how I can branch out and purchase little Archie comics, Jughead comics, Betty & Veronica, and other characters.
What else?
My high hopes for the characters is also what keeps me buying them week after week.
Betty & Veronica have always been best friends, yet at the same time worst enemies. I hope tat one day Betty will wake up and sock that Veronica right in the crotch.
I have continued reading because I have high hopes that Betty will finally win Archie's heart once and for all, while Veronica's dad looses all his money and she is forced to live in a trailer. I want to see Archie give Reggie the beating he deserves.
This is probably the drive, and the real reason I continue to buy, even though I know none of these events will ever occur, I still buy it for the wholesome charming flair Archie comics have always presented.
Archie comics have also taken on a new look. The whole gang has been re-drawn to look entirely different, yet at the same time, the same. I myself like these new drawings, however do hope they never, ever change the old school look to the characters for good. The new Archie's have new modern looks, new modern clothing, and make up. They also have a slew of new vocabulary. No more of that lame, gnarly, awesome, totally, super cool, neat-o phrases.
Hehehe... with the new look, and new clothing, maybe they will also do something new. Ops, there goes my mind again, back in the gutter.
Where to get Archie comics?
Everywhere really, comic book stores will carry the slim comics and digests, Walmart carries them, and any news stand is bound to carry copies. The prices vary from $2.00-$7.00 depending on the size you get and issue.
What to expect from Archie comics:
Good wholesome teenage fun with some cheesy wise cracks, and lame pick up lines from Reggie. Expect to run into Jughead, and his huge appetite. Meet up with Veronica and watch as she shops till her dad drops. Watch how Betty gets ditched by Archie, as he goes out on a date with Veronica. Watch Moose outsmart those smarter than him. Just one comic and you will be hooked.
Nearly each strip has a lesson to learn whether it be a happy one or a sad one. Each comic is filled with something new, and now 2 stories are ever the same.
More Archie fun:
You can visit www.Archiecomics.com where you can play fun games, print pictures/posters, write letters, enter contests, and buy Archie and the gang gear.
Overall:
Will Archie ever score? Probably not, but the journey I have taken with the gang since my childhood has been enjoyable either way.

Guide on Getting Revenge! Exes Beware!!!

Carrie Underwood was obviously a weak character when it came to her boyfriend cheating on her. It's obvious through her new song that she's new at this game called revenge. Come on now, who keys cars? That's so.. how shall I put this... LAME! Yeah it may sound like a cool idea in a song, but why start so pathetically small?
You see, some people just need lessons when it comes to revenge. This guide is pure evil, share it with all your girlfriends who have just had their hearts broken. I'm about to share some really excellent tips on how to take care of the ex.
Stop crying, he cheated on you. Don't dwell in the pain, or the anger. Get even, I find that when I get even my heart heals very fast and I am busy focusing on my next crime. The game becomes fun, cruel, and a bit over the top. But hey, what do you expect. When I get dumped, or I am wronged I am an emotional mess. I need someone to vent to, or on.
My first step is to gather my most evil of friends. You see you don't have to plot everything for yourself, the help of those around you can make revenge so much sweeter.
Ways in which I get revenge, and ways I have helped others get revenge.
Latest victim - Walter.
Walter - recently cheated on my cousin.
Status - My cousin was living with him for 4 years, thinking she was happily in love and in a great healthy relationship.
Damage - loss of time, broken heart, and the possibility of STD's.
Revenge.... oh this is going to be good. 4 years of my dear cousins life wasted on slime like this. Slime that could jeopardize my cousins health, well this is going to be huge. The great Gusto! The one all the girls will talk about.
Hhehehehehehehehe!!!!!!!!!
My cousin was still living there at his house when we learned the news through a friend of his friends. I was present, and first I let her deal with the shock. He was inside when we told her the news. He was getting ready for work. Perfect. He was not going to be present. It's better this way. Having him around for this would just be bad.
First she got over the initial shock, got mad, got sick, threw up, and then cried a tad. These are the usual steps one goes through when they find out their other half is out screwing random slobs.
Once she was able to compose herself she began packing. She was coming to live with me. We didn't want her around this monster. Let him come home to an empty house and 'think' about why the house is empty. A true cheating moron would be confused, thinking he is slick, and even try and get her back after the fact.
Anyways, we helped pack her things, and then we sat, smoked a lot of cigarettes and began discussing what to do next. Walter would be out for another 10 hours. We had all the time in the world.
So...we had a yard sale. My cousin now needs some money to save up for her own home now. So instead of dragging everything on the lawn of his, we simply had an OPEN HOUSE YARD SALE.
These are the most fun, you open all doors, and let people in. Let them name a price, and take it. We got $10 for his TV, $20 for all of his expensive golf equipment, $10 for the leather couch, and another ten for all the lamps. It was a 10 dollar take all deal for those lamps. I watched as my cousin went from sad, to sort of happy. Watching all of his things go out the door made her mood go from bad to ok. I was happy to see that. Really happy. God I did wish though that I was there to see the look on his face when he came home to an empty house.
It honestly did not take long for nearly all of the contents in the house to walk out the door for dirt cheap. The point was not to make money, but to clear it out. In the midst of things emptying we found underwear that was not hers. She was angry again, so now we had to go to step 2.
Letter writing. Basically this letter should consist of how much she loved him, and how much he hurt her, and how the tables are going to turn. Its all in all a threat.
Walter cheated on her, and she basically knew that no matter what hell she was now going to put on him there was no way in hell he would call the cops. Because the cheater although he cheats still loves the girl he's two facing, oddly enough.
We then took the underwear and let them hang from the only fan left in the house and turned it on. You know a present, in case idiot doesn't know what he did.
After the letter is finished, and the belongings sold. I mean nearly everything. Leave a few pictures of you and him on the wall or kitchen counter, everything else though. Must go.
This includes, food in the fridge. If you are the one who had always cooked for him, like my cousin was, throw it all out. Let him fend for himself for a change. Also throw out shower curtains, and any other things you could not sell. In the bathroom be sure to take a big poo and to dip his toothbrush into it afterward. Leave the poo globing off of it, just so he sees it. We don't want him using the poo brush, we just want him to know we are messed up enough to do it in an obvious fashion. This will make him wonder what other nasty nasties you have left behind.
You want to break him down, instill fear.
Next expect the idiot to be calling you once he gets home, or showing up wherever you may be. You would be surprised how psycho cheaters are able to stalk you down after you leave. When he/she calls. Hang the phone up. Don't even give them a moment to 'talk it over'. Hang up the phone! Ignore all calls, and if necessary call the cops if they show up where you are.
Next lay low for a week or so. Round 2 comes next.
Round 2 insists of stalking. Have a group of friends that he does not know well watch him. You will be surprised at how fast he tries to move on to a new vagina in your absence. Once you know who these new vagina's are make yourself known to them. Let them know you are his ex, and that he dumped you because you are pregnant. Something sick on that line so she avoids him from there on out.
Round 2 also consists of ruining property. You already sold all he has left so you may as well begin ruining things. At night, or when he is not home, spray paint his car, fence, and house. Whichever one comes first does not matter.
Of course he will know you did it, but unless you are stupid and get caught red handed there is no proving it. Hah!
By now your heart probably feels much better, but why stop there. I would drive by every week and make sure I fill his mailbox with presents. You know, dog poop, kitty litter, mud, tampons, and sex toys such as large dildos, just so the neighbors can watch as he tries to hide it.
By now he should be sick and tired of your games. He may try and call you to apologize, or to yell. Either way, hang up. You're almost done anyway.
You can now let things go, and your heart should be all patched up and ready for round 3.
Round 3 can come months or even a year later. Out of the blue and far enough away so that way he never thinks it is you. Round 3 is messing with his career. The great Gusto in the whole scheme. If you have been with him long, it is obvious you know where he works. So sabotage it. Call his boss, or call his corporation. Pretend you are a disgruntled customer. The boss will most likely have a talk with him, and keep him anyway. However if you spread these calls out in 2 month time spans it will start to look like he honestly is a bad employee, and will eventually be let go.
This sort of thing can be difficult if he owns his own company.
So for those of you whom have exes whom own their own company's, there is nothing you can do there.
Fear not though, there are even more excellent steps when it comes to getting even with an Ex. Fake black magic. This is always fun and for your own personal amusement. My cousin had clothing of his, so we simply cut up his clothes and sewed together a little doll that resembled him. A voodoo doll if you will. We then placed the doll with pins in his mailbox. He of course knew it was the works of her, but eh.. by now you have stopped caring about what he thinks he knows vs what he does.
Almost every month we would then scatter his front lawn with chicken bones we would save up from past meals. We of course placed the bones in odd patterns that looked as if it had something to do with witchcraft.
Whether or not it scared him, the thought of being cursed is now instilled in his mind, and who knows he may create his own bad luck from here on out without the help of us.
They have been apart for some time now, and things are back to normal. However, you never know, when my cousin may get that painful pang and want to go for a round 4 or 5.
But by the time round 3 occurs most likely you are already back to your normal happy self, your heart healed and all, yet you continue just because... well, you are a little crazy, and it's fun! Hahahaha.
Ladies, and gentlemen, the moral of the story is 'be careful who you mess with. Be careful who you hurt, because no matter how innocent they may seem, each and every person has a demon inside just waiting to get to work.