Tuesday, July 29, 2014

Weird Holidays for the Month of March

When I think of the month of March I think of Leprechauns, 4 leaf clovers, rainbows and pot of gold. I think of the Irish, I think green! In March the United States celebrates St.Patrick's Day.
However in March there is also holidays that are celebrated each and every day of the week. Sadly though not everyone knows about these little known holidays that occur in March; so yours truly decided to compile the list of March holidays for all of you to celebrate (that is; if you want to).
On March 1st we start the month off by celebrating National Pig Day, and Peanut Butter Lover's Day. On this particular day why not have a family pig roast with a blob of peanut butter on the side? Sounds gross? Yeah it does to me too, I'll have to pass up the festivity on the 1st.
March 2nd is Old Stuff Day. I would assume that perhaps one would clean the house and have a yard sale with their old stuff. I have a slew of old stuff I could get rid of to make an extra buck.
March 3rd we are scheduled to celebrate 3 holidays: Peach Blossom Day (this sounds like something they'd celebrate in Animal Crossing), National Anthem Day, and I Want You To Be Happy Day!
On March 4th we are to celebrate Holy Experiment Day. I don't know what this is, I'm not very religious, nor do I feel like experimenting in anything religious. Pass.
Oh yeah! On March 5th we can all be someone else, because it is Multiple Personality Day! This is the perfect excuse for going about with erratic dickish behavior. ('That wasn't me, that was Sally!)
Whip out your frozen foods tonight, and serve them up for dinner. After dinner dish out the ice cream, because on March 6th we are to celebrate Frozen Foods Day!
More pig! March 7th is National Crown Roast of Pork Day.(Me=vegan=pass)
God, I'm going to so participate in Be Nasty Day on March 8th! Can I seriously get away with using this day as an excuse for my behavior? I'm totally loving March all over again.
On the 9th don't expect anyone to act like themselves, because today is Panic Day. A perfect time to panic about everything. Get it all out today.
March 10th is Festival Of Lights In The Cracks Day. Okay um...is this some sort of drug addicts holiday? I'm seriously confused. What the hell is this? Anyone!?
Awe! I remember celebrating this day back in grade school. Johnny Appleseed Day. Our teachers actually had us plant apple seeds all throughout the yards of the school. Looking back now...none ever grew. It was still fun though. March 11th is also Worship Of Tools Day (freaks).
Ohhhh...March 12th is Alfred Hitchcock Day!
The 13th is Jewel Day. Good, now I have an excuse to use as to why my boyfriend should buy me some jewelery.
Lets pig out on March 14th in front of the couch with a bag of chips, because today is National Potato Chip Day.
I'm not feeling the whole Everything You Think Is Wrong Day on March 15th. But then again, no one can be right.
Uh oh though! No one can be wrong on Everything You Think Is Right Day on the 16th.
March 17th is of course St.Patty's Day (mommas birthday), and the little known about Submarine Day!
On the 18th we are all to sacrifice something very important to us. It is Supreme Sacrifice Day. I think that this is an excellent day for guys and gals though to sacrifice their locks and donate to a good cause. When I say locks, I mean hair! Sacrifice your hair to someone who doesn't have any!
On March 19th we are due to celebrate Poultry Day! So um...eat chicken, not beef?
The 20th is a neat day for sci-fi freaks far and wide. The 20th is Festival Of Extraterrestrial Abductions Day. They seriously have conventions for this holiday.
Yay! On the 21st we all have an excuse as to why we need to stop by our local perfume store. The 21st of March is Fragrance Day!
On the 22nd of March we can all just goof-off, because it is of course Goof-Off Day. A perfectly good excuse to poor work performance today! I'm loving it!
The 23rd we are to celebrate National Organize Your Home Office Day (phew! I'm glad I don't have one of these), and National Chip and Dip Day (Oh that sound much better).
I eat chocolate covered raisins all of the time. Who would of thought though that March 24th is Chocolate Covered Raisins Day? Well...it is.
March 25th is Pecan and Waffle Day. I'm going to have to pass on both. For those of you who enjoy pecans and waffles...enjoy the pecan waffle day.
March 26th is whatever the hell you want it to be. March 26th is Make Up Your Own Holiday Day. Suh-weet!!! So I dub March 26th 'Send Melissa Your Pay Check Day'. Got that?
The 27th is National Joe Day.Whatever. My brother's name is Joe, why should he get another holiday!? We already celebrate his birthday!
Actually this holiday is for those who hate their names. Hehee. If you hate your name, on the 27th of March you can tell everyone to call you Joe. Stupid I know...but I feel like they didn't know what else to make this day.
Like the 28th of March, which is Something On A Stick Day. Um...give everyone an ice cream bar. Tah-dah!
On March 29th we are to celebrate the Festival of Smoke and Mirrors Day. I'm not sure how they want us to celebrate this one, but perhaps I'll smoke more today while looking at myself in the mirror. Sex-ay!
The 30th is for those on power trips, it is I Am In Control Day. This day will clash though with others who think that they are in control.
If everyone thinks they are in control on this day, who is really in control?
Yippie! On March 31st we can all celebrate Clams On The Half Shell Day. This sounds delish!
The 31st is also Bunsen Burner Day. Why? I don't know...worship thee Bunsen!
And there you have it 31 days of fun filled events to celebrate in March. Enjoy yah freaks!

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