Although he is 30, and I am 25, my boyfriend and I are the biggest kids you could ever meet. Yeah we may look all adult like but when new toys or cool gadgets come out for kids, we are the first in line to give it a try.
When Heelys first came out and kids were zipping by us in local malls
and streets with these shoes on wheels we had to have a pair. Turns out
it took them awhile to come out with adult sizes. So we grumbled at the
facts that only kids can have fun. WHY?! Why can't we have fun? Why
can't I zip by on these new roller shoes? Why are all of the cool things
designed for kids!? What about me!?
Yep that rant sounded a bit childish, but wah, I wanted some damn Heely's!
During Christmas time our wishes were granted, someone must have
tipped the Santa Gods over at Heely's because here they were right
before my very eyes in adult sizes in a local Foot Locker.
The pink ones called out my name, while my boyfriend browsed his many
colors of foot toys. I picked the pink pair up and was shocked by their
$75 asking price. My boyfriends jaw also dropped when his read $80.
We shrugged the price off and tried not to think about it. We took the
plunge, we had to. How else were we going to be cool man?
The idiotic sales woman tried giving us a demonstration on how to use
them and hook the wheels on and off. This demonstration was just
annoying, we just wanted to pay, get the hell out of there and put them
on. We could figure out all of the stupid technical crap later. However
little miss muffet thought we needed this ridiculous lesson.
She first told us to get a size larger than our normal shoe size
because Heely's are tighter and stiffer than a usual shoe. She was
right, I went from an 8 to a 9, while Raymond needed a size 13. She then
had us lace the shoes, and walk around for a moment to get a feel for
them. They were different, she was right about that. It felt like I was
walking with my feet nailed to wooden boards. I could tell immediately
that it was going to take quite some time to break these suckers in and
make them comfortable for normal walking.
I wasn't interested in wheeling around in the tight packed store, so I
told her we had to go. However she seemed a bit focused on Raymond.
Damn hussie arse bimbos in shoe stores.
I dragged him out, and we made our way home with our new stiff shoes.
The Heely's came with a key. This key is to lock and unlock the
wheels. This concept was annoying, because if you lost the key you had
to buy a new one. It was also annoying knowing I would have to change
them on a constant. You could walk around with the wheels sticking out,
but it makes you lean froward and makes the way you walk look like you
are tippy toeing around.
At home we interlocked the wheels and tried learning how to roll
about. This proved to be a dangerous lesson in balance. You see, the
wheels are positioned in the back and you have to sort of lean back to
get full contact with the wheel to the floor. This task was not easy,
and as I began tripping and falling on a constant, I wondered, was I too
old for this shoe? Were they meant for kids for a reason? Probably, but
my determination drove me forward.
It took hours to get comfortable wheeling around on them, and even
still I felt unbalanced and wobbly. Raymond was also frustrated with the
non-stop urge to zipping around like the kids do. He however gave up
before I did. He basically just said they were dangerous, and didn't
feel like throwing out his back. $80 down the drain. I also knew he
wouldn't wear them without the wheels because of the stiff tight feeling
of the shoe.
I too gave up afterward, I must have fallen down at least 20 times,
and the times I didn't fall down I was tripping over myself.
The whole concept of adult Heely's was nice, but they were originally
designed for children for a reason. If they fall they don't have to
worry about breaking their hip or being out of work for a month
I do though feel that parents should be wary about buying these over
priced shoes for their kids, they still pose a danger. I would recommend
buying them a pair of roller blades, at least roller blades provide
support to the ankle, where Heely's do not. I feel that children will be
spraining and or breaking their ankles using Heely's a lot more than
they would on some sturdy blades.
Adult Heely's and children's Heely's are just a dangerous expensive
waste of money. They may look cool when you see a kid zipping by you,
but once you have them on there is nothing cool about them. Unless you
have patience and excellent balance they're going to be more frustrating
than they will be fun. Even if you do get it down, you still run the
risk of hitting a pebble or crack in the ground and landing on your
Leave them on the shelves, and go buy a pair of roller blades for half the price.