Friday, July 18, 2014

Jersey Shore, Season 2: Episode 2 Recap

We are already up to episode 2 in Jersey Shore, which technically should be called Miami Shore, but MTV knew they couldn't go and change names on their audience's.

The thing is, after The Hills, and learning we had all been duped, I tend to lean more against Jersey Shore lately, due to the fact that I don't know if MTV is going to pull another fake reality, ha-ha, we got you joke, at the end of the series.

Anyhow, season 2 episode 2 began pretty much where it ended off on the lack luster premiere.
Ronni apparently crawled out of Sammi's bed to let the others know he did not remember anything that happened the night before, that he had a 'Snooki night'. At any rate, for those who missed it, Ronni ended up having a disgusting 3 way kiss with 2 grenades (a term for ugly girls).

He decides it is best at this point to not let Sammi know of his three way tongue twister. Granted the two are not together anymore, its pretty obvious she still loves him, and Ronni himself still has feelings for her, even though he likes a Grenade every now and again.

At any rate, Sammi prods at the guys trying to get information on what happened the night before at the club with Ronni. They do not lie, but they just withhold the whole three way Ronni tongue twister.

Meanwhile for some reason the camera cuts over to the Snooki and JWow who are out shopping at some sort of unique shop that sells clothing that looked like it had been gnawed on by large rodents. The highlight of the shopping excursion was that Snooki spends nearly $400 on a really stupid, ugly pair of white sunglasses that are literately covered in crystals, so much so that she cannot see while wearing them. Yeah. Good choice!

Back at home Mike places tonight's dinner into the fridge, saying something along the lines of it being a miracle if it does not fall on the floor when someone opens the fridge. Snooki and JWow return home, and Snooki's famous pickle craving goes into effect. She opens the fridge looking for pickles, and low and behold Mikes masterpiece lands on the floor.

Heading back to Ronni and Sammi's drama.

Sammi decided to go snooping through Ronni's telephone book, like the psycho ex that she is. In it she finds Ronni's other ex girlfriends phone number, and like a psycho ex, she confronts him on it in her whining dramatic entry into his room.

Ronni tries being nice about it while Sammi goes off on some retarded tyranny about how horrid he is, and what he did was wrong. No sane person could figure out what the hell she was talking about though, considering the fact that they are NOT together?

At any rate, Pauly D and Mike discuss it like it's discussion worthy. Instead of discussing how psycho Sam was, they discuss how Ronni should have prepared for something like that, by not leaving his phone book out like that by the phone.

Nothing eventful goes on next, just Ronni confessing to Angelina that he feels bad about what happened, and how he does not want Sammi to find out about the 3 way bomb kiss that occurred at the club.

Now we must gather around the pool, and watch as the girls one by one go off on Angelina for all of her crap talking. Apparently Angelina had been talking smack about the cast after the first season ended.

It ends with a really stupid, and uneventful threat by JWow. Yup. JWow tells her she is going to beat her up, and to sleep with one eye open.

I yawned.

Angelina then exits the area to answer a phone call. The rest are still gathered around the pool, everyone but Angelina, Sammi and Ronni.

Next what we have is a laugh fest of information. No one knew about what happened with Ronni at the club but the guys and Angelina. Mike who is dying to let the others know about the Grenade situation, is hushed by Vinny.

The following morning, we learn that instead ow working out of a T-shirt shop, that the crew of misfit's will instead be working at a Gelato shop, scooping up ice cream for Miami Shore all summer long. As we know though, this won't stop them from creating drama.

The following night the gang goes out to a club. This consisted of Mike, Pauly D, and Angelina. If the others were present I wouldn't know I was too busy watching Angelina make a moron of herself while dry humping and but bumping other women who offer her some shots. Likely only for air time.

Mike is dancing with a girl who decides to bite him, then flash the camera her fish sticks. Luckily they blurred it out. How classy.

Pauly D however catches an even classier broad. I really cannot wait to read the online media about this dirty engaged girl though. That's right, Pauly D is dancing and swapping spits with a loosey goosey. You see this girl is engaged, and apparently has no morals. I hope the poor bastard who was thinking of wedding that pig dumped her a long time ago. Who does that?
At any rate, this infuriates Angelina for some odd reason(recap back to season 1 when we learned she was with a married man), and she confronts Pauly in the club. Angelina gets really drunk and takes her anger out once again on Pauly D back at home. Its clear she is jealous, and wishes she could have been that classless broad who was kissing Pauly. The world already knows the 2 have hooked up in the past, but apparently she is not over him just yet.

The scene ends with her slapping Pauly in the face, then getting yelled at by Pauly outside where she decides to follow him after the slap goes down.

There we have it folks. Miami Shore.

This weeks highlights included:
Snooki's ugly glasses
JWOW is pretty without makeup on
Pauly D hooks up with a dirty classless pig. Can someone say STD?
Mike gets bit
Snooki's slippers
Sammi's psycho behavior

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