Thursday, July 17, 2014

Jersey Shore, Season 3 Episode 1 Recap

The cast of Jersey Shore is back yet again, for a third season of the show. Last season was steamy, and drama lurked around every corner, but why MTV continued to call it Jersey Shore, when the heat was boiling in Miami is still any ones guess.

Season 3 brings out beloved cranky cast back to Jersey, where fans once again will watch the cast go wild.

The very first episode aired last night, and unlike last season, the show does not start off slow and boring. In fact the tension and heat is sizzling from the get go.

Ronnie and Sam are still together, which I have to admit is shocking. They seem happy though, and as much as I could not stand their bickering, and Sam's boring demeanor last season, I was glad to see that they seemed on good terms, as boyfriend and girlfriend. Like Snooki says later on though, as soon as Ron is drunk, he becomes single again. So we will see...we will see if Sammy girl has him as whipped as it seems.

Snookers is not coming alone this season, she brings her bestie Deena, who seems promising as a firecracker in the very first few moments we are introduced to her. She is short like Snooki, dresses like Snooki, and has a personality similar to hers, but not quite as endearing. For now though, I like her, and her presence fits, unlike last season when Angelina was in the house.
At any rate, the season starts off like the past 2 seasons, we meet up with the cast at their homes and watch them pack for a moment, and set off on their road trips to Jersey.

We're Goin Back To Jersey Bitcheeesss!!!!
Ronnie and Sam are the first to arrive to the house, and instead of being gracious, Sam picks one of the 3 bedroom rooms, leaving only one bed available, which immediately you know that this is going to be awkward, as whomever shows up last will have to room with them.

JWOW walks in next, oh the irony. Instead of being normal human beings, Ronnie tells Sam to go upstairs, to basically hide from her in a way, and he leaves her standing in the bedroom, while he dodges off to the bathroom. Wow!

She makes her way up the stairs, and the scene cuts to Sam alone in an isolation room stating how Jennie is going to shit her pants when she sees her. However the only person looking worried or about to drop a load in their pants is Sam.

JWOW does not even really see her, but she apparently does, because she stops in the hallway and lets out a loud 'ew'.

Apparently the 2 still are hating on one another. Jennie makes her way back downstairs and claims the other room containing 3 beds.

Shortly after that, Vinny comes wobbling in with a shower caddy that breaks the tension and causes a few laughs. Not too long after his arrival comes Pauly.
Once Pauly and Vinny settle in, they immediately begin discussing how messed up it was of Ron and Sam to pick one of the only 2, 3 bed rooms. Pauly and Vinny room together in the final 2 bedroom room, and actually feel sorry for Mike, whom they know is now stuck in the only available room with Ron and Sam.

Mike arrives afterward, and is clearly pissed off at the rooming situation. "It could have been the MVP (Mike, Vinny Pauly) room, but Ron and Sam messed that all up."
Ron and Sam seem completely unaffected by this though. Why they did not just choose the 2 bed room is still beyond me. Sam the hermit usually likes being alone anyway.

Once the entire cast is settled in, and the room situation is over and done with, we watch as everyone gets acquainted with Deena. Everyone is polite, they seem to like her well enough, oh, everyone but Sam, who I was going to like again at first, till I noticed what a bitchy unwelcoming welcome she gave to the newbie Deena.

During dinner, Deena is outside sitting across from Sam while everyone eats, and Deena begins to ask Sam where she is from. Instead of being a normal human being, she gives her short answers in a rude, bitchy tone. Deena picks up on it immediately.

Sam walks away after Deena begins to continue to ask her where she is from. It was rude, disgusting, and so ridiculous. It made me wonder what type of meds Sam was on. Diet pills usually make people irritable and socially 'special'.

Denna is miffed by it, and she calls her out about it later on inside at the dinner table. Sam once again gets up and walks away. We find her later on in her usual spot, mourning on her bed, whining to Ron about how much she hates everyone.

The party downstairs continues, while Ron sits upstairs with the drama queen, missing out on the fun. How original. I was praying the cameras did not focus on this pitiful event for too long.
Vinny is in the hot tub with Snooki and Deena, and the flirting between the 2 get heavy. Snooki is jealous because clearly she had formed more than just friends feelings for Vinny.

She confronts him, and mentions how he had sex with her best friend, and she walked in and caught them about a week ago.

Snooki complains to him, which breaks up the sexual chemistry between him and Deena. Deena does not let it stop her though, she turns to Mike and begins flirting with him. She begins to moan about a hat she wants, and asks him to help her find it.

Meanwhile Snooki is still giving Vinny the third degree. She tries to put her arms around him, and he tells her he cannot hook up with her because he is going to hook up with other girls, and he does not want her to get hurt. She seems mad, but unphased all the same. She gets out of the hot tub and stomps away.

Back in the house, Deena finds her cowboy hat, and begins to remove her clothes for Mike. He sees the 'goods' on the first day, and actually admits to finding her awkwardly cute. However the 2 do not hook up.

The night is about to come to an end, and Mike makes his way into his bed. Sam and Ron are in theirs, no shock there. Moments after Mike lays down, Deena comes strolling in complaining that she wants to cuddle with him. Sam begins to chuckle, and Deena gets offended.

"She's laughing at me!"

And this is where the drama begins, and after Sam admits, that yes she is in fact laughing at her, Deena stomps downstairs to let Snooki and the others know what a bitch Sam is.

Deena continues to yell loudly, and Sam is upstairs with Ron listening in on it. Mike of course comes downstairs to get right in on the drama. He does not instigate, he just listens to it all unfold.

Suddenly Ron comes barging down the stairs like a meatball, and begins yelling at Deena. Something about 'this is my house' blah blah... it was probably the lamest crap I ever had to endure, and exactly as I was thinking, Deena states, 'why the hell is Sam having her boyfriend fight her battles.'

Sam naturally steps in afterward, and the chicken gobbling is on. Sam thinks she is tough, and she ends up looking like a moron. Her and Deena begin to throw words back and forth, and suddenly Snooki steps in.

Snooki begins calling Sam a bitch over and over again, with power behind each sentence building. I do not know what happened, but suddenly JWOW's name is in Sam's mouth, and Sam once again tries to act all tough by saying she will punch her in the face again.

This set JWOW off immediately, and she charges her. JWOW gets a good hit in, but misses slightly. I was once again aggravated though because I thought JWOW would just floor her this time. The fight seemed as pathetic as the one from last season.

We are left mid-fight though, and will not see who wins till next week.

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