This weeks episode of The Hills is a little late coming from me, but the episode was good enough for me to recall every dirty little detail from start to finish, so for those of you who have not seen the episode, this one is for you... and for those who watched it and just want to complain or add a comment about it. The box is down below! Haha!
Anyhow, if you managed to catch episode 1, you likely noted how
meticulously staged every single scene was. Well unfortunately episode 2
was pretty much the same drill. Perfectly staged drama.
We start off with Kristen, who just came in to town, conveniently
sitting down with Stacie. Anyone remember her as last seasons Speidi
villain? Yeah, shes the girl who Spencer was spending some 'secret time'
with. Or staged time, what have you.
Anyhow, Kristen mentions to Stacie the drama that unfolded last week
when she and Audrina bumped heads over Kristen saying 'Hi' to Justin. Yawn...
normally I would not take Kristen's side, but in that instance, I was
on her side. Audrina and Stephanie blew the whole situation way out of
proportion. Bad idea, because it made Justin seem all the more
untouchable... and all the more yum-o-licious to Kristen. People always
want what others tell them they cannot have. Tee-hee!
At any rate, we learn that Kristen wants to clear the air with Audrina.
Next we move on to what appears to be Lauren's old job, hanging
clothing on racks. In the scene we have Audrina and her sister. Audrina
stops mid work to let her know that she got a text message from Kristen
asking her to meet her for lunch. Audrina tells her sister she is not
meeting her, and that Lauren warned her that Kristen is a man eater! Yay! Our very first Lauren name dropping scene!
Next we see Stephanie meeting with Spencer and Heidi at the new Speidi
Castle. Stephanie loves the house, but mentions that its not baby
proof. Yup boys and girls, Heidi has babies on the mind, which is pure
insanity. The Speidi scenes this year are a little more low key, and
Spencer is less of a douche than usual, but still, very much a douche.
While he is a little more 'tamely mannered' he has adopted some new
wardrobe malfunction. I guess instead of focusing on his drab messy
attitude, the audience is now focusing on his appearance. Last week he
graced the premier wearing a hoe-down cowboy getup, and this week he
wore some ridiculous charm necklace with large opals, gems, and charms. I
mean really? Who is paying him to wear this crap?
Anyhow, I would go more into detail on their scenes during the episode, but frankly they were boring.
To make a long boring story short, Heidi and Spencer meet the
neighbors, and Heidi takes it upon herself to invite the little kid they
have living with them, over to her house to play the Wii. Spencer gets
mad, Spencer acts rude... and walks the kid home.
The moral of the scene? Heidi wants a baby, and Spencer is anti-kid. Following?
Likely the season will end with the announcement of a Speidi Baby, and
some stupid Speidi Baby spin-off show. Sadly it will fail as far as
ratings go. The married couple bit is just boring.
Anyhow, back to Audrina and Kristen.
Audrina does a no show for the arranged lunch with Kristen. Instead Lo
shows up, which I'm sure just pissed off LC the moment she caught the
episode on TV. The Lauren/Kristen drama makes the Lauren/Speidi drama
look like a nice walk in a puppy filled field.
At any rate, here we have Lo and Kristen sitting together for some
form of lunch. Lo never eats anything, but listens intently while
Kristen spats out how she feels about Audrinas behavior.
Lo looks at her with her too easy to read beautiful bright blue eyes.
You can pretty much read what she is thinking, without her saying it out
Yes Lo is listening and being polite, with a near two-face sort of
vibe, but only to bring back some gossip to Audrina later on. Which
naturally she does.
Oddly though when the girls, Audrina, Lo, and Stephanie are all
together later on, Lo and Stephanie think that Audrina should apologize.
This is strange considering Stephanie was pretty much the fuel to the
entire fire that went down a week prior.
Audrina catches on to the vibe, gives them both a weird look, and refuses to apologize to Kristen.
Stephanie then invites Lo and Audrina to come along with her to an
opening of a new club. They have prior arrangements though to meet
with/watch a band that will be playing.
Anyhow, while Lo and Audrina are watching the band, Stephanie is out
at the club. The camera cuts to a cozy crew containing last seasons
regulars. Brody and his posse, and his 'ready for a fight'
girlfriend Jade. If you recall, Jade was the pissed off girlfriend last
season. She wanted to beat down Audrina for schmoozing with Brody.
Conveniently Kristen walks in to the same club. You are not sure
whether or not her and Justin arrived together or not, but it appears
Brody makes fun of him for his wardrobe, and pretty boy hair cut and
shave. Yes folks, Justin Bobby shaved for this scene! I'm sure Kristen
would have it no other way.
Anyhow, in the background you can hear Jade telling one of her pals
that she hates Kristen. I don't recall the two having any past history,
but regardless Jade hates her, which means something will eventually 'go
down'. Likely a lame puss wuss yelling-fest.
Justin and Kristen make off to the dance floor, where the two share
this ridiculously old fart 'lets pretend we are in love' slow dance.
Shortly afterward, the two are in some empty booth room, making out.
Tongue to nasty tongue.
Stephanie catches the action. It's only a matter of time till the news gets back to Audrina.
The next morning Stephanie is itching to tell Audrina what she saw.
They meet for lunch where Stephanie quickly tells Audrina the news of
the make out party she witnessed Justin and Kristen having.
I felt so
bad, because you could see that Audrinas heart had just fell to the
floor, like a fish out of a fishbowl, flopping around, and gasping for
air. Poor girl. Regardless of the staged scenes, Audrina is pathetically
and hopelessly in love with Justin still. God only knows why, the
guy... like her sister said...is a douche bag.
Likely MTV promised him a raise. You pretty much catch on to that
later on when the scene cuts to him and Kristen riding on his motorcycle
to some restaurant.
At the restaurant Justin mentions Audrina... which clearly means he
loves her too, but is too stupid to figure things out before she moves
We learn that Kristen and Justin just want to be in it for a good
time. Basically he wants to screw, and she does not seem to mind. We
also take note of Kristen's wall eye a few times during this full blown
staged scene. She does a good job at hiding it though, by looking to the
floor or to the side quite often.
All in all, the whole make out party seemed to be Kristen's way of getting back at Audrina for ditching her lunch invite.